Spellbinding stories of mystic love and soulful hope . . .

He was an ass . . . but . . . . was I, too?

Jerkface, sumbitch! Huhn!

Workout: Saturday while on the treadmill doing a new, and particularly high energy part of my workout, some jerkface came over, waved his hand in my face, and then bitched me out for stomping on the treadmill. I couldn’t even respond—I was so furious, a sailor would blush at what caught in my throat and I had to swallow down.  All the rest of the weekend, I was pissed off, and within that anger came a little depression and anxiety: what would I do? That newer part of the aerobic workout kicked my ass but good and was something different, made me sweat, helped control my stress and take down my jitteriness a notch. I kept seeing his face; kept seeing his hand waving in my face; kept seeing me punching his face until it was a bloody-ass pulp (um, yeah, not proud of that thought, lawd!)

I didn’t even look forward to my next workout, for I thought, “It’s all ruined. My joy is ruined. My workout is ruined. Woe is me.”

*woe is wittle me*

*woe is wittle me*

Meanwhile, I’d conveniently forgotten how many people said I inspire them, how they enjoy my joy. I’d forgotten that the addition of this stomping was fairly new, and in a quiet little dark corner of myself, I knew I shouldn’t have been doing it—it just felt so good I ignored everything and everyone else. I was being stubborn. I wanted want I wanted. I didn’t want to give it up cause it was just so cool.

omg - I was being an asshole, too!

omg – I was being an asshole, too!

But, when I allowed my rage to subside. When I stopped thinking, “That sonuvabitch jackass mo-fo, rude asshole!” I heard what he said, not how he said it. And folks, yeah, I sure was being disrespectful to others and the equipment at that particular addition of my high-energy workout. Admitting that made me pull up my big girl panties and acknowledge I was being an asshole, too. I don’t excuse his delivery system, for he had no call for the way he treated me, but hidden in his Big Ass Stupid Face Assholedom was some truth.

This morning, as I stepped on the treadmill, someone said something so positive, reminding me that I wasn’t a bad person, I hadn’t always been so out of control, and I felt my joy slipping back in. Instead of stomping like an over-crazed idiot, I found something else to do that kicked my ass even better and more efficiently, and without worrying about hurting myself, and just as wonderful, I was still respectful of the machines and others.

WHUPOW!

Writer: Sometimes when we’re given critique/edit suggestions from our editors or beta reader, or whomever, that we don’t like, we may be tempted to say “Oh, they just don’t get it; they don’t understand what I’m trying to do; they SUCK! I ain’t listening. If I change this, it ruins everything! If I take that out/put that in/alter that, then what?  Waaaaaaah! Sumbitches!”  We push any rational thought aside, cuss, holler to the four winds of the universe how unfair they are, and how they just don’t get us and our work. Want to smack them three sides to Tuesday. We may want to give up, give in, be depressed and defeated. Put aside the work and walk away.

Well, shit . . . huh. I guess I see what you're saying . . ..

Well, shit . . . huh. I guess I see what you’re saying . . ..

However, if we still our minds and think of the bigger message, even if it’s embedded in a delivery we don’t appreciate, we may just find some truth in that critique/edit. We can pull on our big girl panties, or big boy undies, and acknowledge how we are being intractable, childish. We can pull back and look at their suggestions/comments, see if really they do have something to add to our manuscript, after all. Then, we find a way to work the manuscript into something that still gives us joy, makes us excited, and works ever so much better to make the work kick-ass.

images (1)

I actually do have a can of this!

WHUPOW! Open up a can of whoopass and get going!

Comments on: "Work-out Writer: After the big cussin’ hissy fit, we may see a truth we tried to deny" (7)

  1. You are a BIG girl to admit you are not always 100% right. I too have had folks without the savvy of communication be ugly to me and I found that my “I’ll get them by being nice.” method worked so well that oftentimes we actually did become good friends. I guess that I’ve always understood “Doc Martin” types since I too have come off sounding snappish when irritated and not taking the time to consider how I sound to others, so giving them the benefit of the doubt takes some time (and internal cussing), but as you have shown…everyone benefits in the end with honesty employed. Well done you. And I too am one of your fans of how well you’re toned for your age.

  2. This here is EXACTLY why it’s a good thing I mostly communicate with collaborators online. I’ve done my share (and maybe some extra) of deciding other people just don’t know what they’re talking about, don’t know how to edit [insert rant here[…even when I really admire and trust the collaborator in question, I have ended up shouting at the latest edits on the screen “But I DID clarify that already!” It’s ok; he can’t hear me. Eventually I calm down, make the requested edits, and the document gets dramatically better, and go about deserving a reputation as professional who accepts criticism well.

  3. johnrailtime said:

    Criticism comes in all forms and when I’m in denial mode, when it shows up…… duck… quack quack. Yet there are times the critic comes in such a way that I am clear as a middle C note. There is no resistance there is acknowledgement and I say Thank You. I have flaws and they have flaws, which I forget at times. My pride gets in the way.

    With all that said, one of things in decline is courtesy. Southern manners used t obe a standard but has eroded.

    Well life marches on and the battle to stay out of the rude gutter continues.

    Have a great week.

  4. karenselliott said:

    I am not sure how to run on a treadmill (I don’t run unless someone is chasing me with a knife), but can you help thomp on it? I’ve heard my son and d-in-law thomping on their treadmill, and it seems normal to me. And I think it’s amazing someone would approach you. Anywho, getting a critique – I personally love it, the more critical the better. The advice I don’t care for, I ignore, though I consider each comment. I’ve critiqued and edited and proofread a lot, and I’m amazed at the number of people that come back to me and tell me I don’t know what I’m doing, without really considering any more than a few comments. Oh well – guess I won’t be seeing them on the best seller list, ever. Improvement – it’s moving forward. I try to do a little of that every day.

    • I’ve had clients, when I was editing novels, take the edits and do nothing with them, and then much later tell me how someone read it or an agent read it or whatever and they said blah blah blah and how they were going to fix it – and i’m thinking “that’s exactly what I told you — ” oh well *laugh*

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