Will all y’allses authors stand on your head wearing a book suit with a little book hat?

For months I kept an eye on a new hot dog and ice cream parlor. This new business tried just about everything to draw customers to it—new items gaily written on the menu board, wi-fi now available!, bright colors shouting out, huge signs proclaiming their awesomeness, and a woman dressed as a hot dog with a hot dog hat who stood outside and waved exuberantly while rubbing her tummy and beckoning everyone to “Come on in!”

Did it work? If the parking lot was any indication, not so much. However, just a few miles from this little hotdog stand is a hamburger and ice cream joint that always has a full parking lot. One could say it’s the difference between hot dog love and hamburger love. Still, I wondered: just what makes the customer choose one place over another?

It isn’t always about the quality and taste of the food or the spiffy look of the establishment. Maybe the food isn’t as good, or isn’t any better, in the crowded

Good food, okay food, exceptional food . . . atmosphere, word of mouth . . . what draws you in to a restaurant?

restaurant, but the atmosphere brings in the customers, or how long it’s been around, or people talk about it and spread the word, or or or . . . .

There are the places that are always full, seats hard to find, and while the food may be consistently good, or even hit or miss, there’s just something about the restaurant that pulls in a good loyal crowd.

There are the iconic restaurants, and the ones who garner five-stars who employ chefs with a pedigree. The food is good, the atmosphere stunning, the prices astronomical.

Well, isn’t there good food and wonderful atmosphere in the little tiny diners across America? —why yes, and they’ve only to find that One Thing, or Some Thing to call the customer to them, and once that happens, off they’ll go! Right? Right? Well. Maybe. Maybe not.

I’ve tried to study the whys of how some restaurants are packed and popular and others, though they have good quality food and sincere staff/owners, are barely hanging on. I have come to the conclusion that sometimes there simply isn’t a why. Sometimes there is only a How It Is. Sometimes it’s just luck. Timing. And luck. And Lots of Luck. And some Something that can’t be defined no matter how much we try, no matter how many blogs and updates and twitter feeds we read about “How To.” Sometimes it just is.

So. Our books. Yeah. Our readers. Our love. Our Life.

We can try to call people to us with contests or give aways or pointing out the good reviews

finding the silver lining . . .

we have or wear a funny book suit with a book hat on our heads while exuberantly rubbing our bellies—et cetera et cetera et cetera—but, in the end, sometimes our books may never become iconic or popular—we may never make a million bucks, and be lucky to make some thousands of bucks, or some may be lucky to sell but a few books at all.

While there are those savvy people who know how to market effectively, most of us are standing around with deer in the headlights eyes, flinging out sticky shit one side to the other in the hopes something sticks.

See, I’m thinking — I have to wake up with myself every day. I have to look in

No, really, I am a NICE person – I wouldn’t push my brother over the edge.

the mirror and like what I see. I have to feel comfortable with myself. I have to write the best book I know how and then hope a lot of hope. It is not in my nature to stand outside in a funny suit, rubbing my stomach, and wildly beckoning y’all to come inside. It’s in my nature to give you my words with love and hard work and sincerity and do the best I know how while remaining the person I am. To try my best without being a big pain in the ass to the social networking airwaves.

Would I love to see my books back in the Number 1 spot at Kindle? Hells to the yeahs, but will I hop on my head while reciting the complete works of Shakespeare to get your attention? Nope! Because what would you think of me? What would I think of myself? Lawd!

Keep it flowing and flowing and flowing and flowing . . .

Readers: what you can do to help your favorite author is to pass along the word – tell others about the author/book(s), and further if you are so inclined, review it on Amazon, B&N, etc., or talk about it on your blog/facebook/twitter: give us your love for it will be appreciated. Writers, what you can do is support other writers – someone else’s success does not take away from our own potential or real successes! We also can be more appreciative of what we have and where we are, for there is always someone else who’d love to be in our position. We should write the best books we can, and present them as beautifully and as “perfectly” as possible (note: in other words, don’t be in such a hurry to throw out your words just to say “I’m published”).

By the way: that hotdog stand went out of business. Just sayin.

Tell me: what’s up with y’all? My laptop is still in the laptop hospital and this little mini-netbook is terrible. lawd. I hope this post turns out presentable. Lawdy be in a bucket of worms.

Wednesday Classroom: Do your research to gain trust with your reader, yawwwwl

Morning Y’allses! Guess where I am while you are reading this? In Oregon! Lawdy but I’m far away from my little log house. GMR and the dawgs and the ghost dawg have the house and cove all to themselves and I bet they miss my pea-headed s’ef.  So, for this post, I’m a’trying to post ahead of time. Just think, as I’m typing this I’m in the little log house, but as you read it, I’m in Oregon. Wheeee ain’t technology grand?

Folkses, as you all may be able to tell from reading my posts on writing, I can be strict about some thangs. I try to have things Right. I want to convince my audience, and you should, too!

With fiction, bring in truths to ground the reader—and whatever those truths are will be  up to the writer to convey them. The amount of danged old research we do will have much to do with the place/time we create. My worlds have been and are in South Louisiana, West Virginia, and here in these western North Carolina mountains. My time has been from the 50′s to the present. My research will deal with that time and place.

If I’m writing about a real town, I need to be accurate about that town to honor its people and sense of Place–I wouldn’t have New Orleans as the capital of Louisiana–lawd!–because it is Baton Rouge; I wouldn’t have Maggie Valley with a McDonald’s because we do not have fast food joints in Maggie (except for one lonely Subway, and who knows how it managed to find its way here). If I’m writing about a fictional town based on a real town, I have a little more flexibility, but I still need to be mindful. Most of my books do not mention specific towns, but my readers can often guess where I am talking about, or place my characters in a specific area that they can relate to.

If you’ses have yourse’f a world that’s all made up, like “Madeupland,” you still must ground the reader in some reality, yawwwl, right? riigghhht! So there will be some research even if it’s minor. Mainly, if you have a “Madeupland” you best be consistent–I tell you what!

All you’ses wunnerfuls out there have seen me write this before: Convince your audience and you’ve done your job, no matter how, what, where, when, who you write. Throw all the danged ole rules out the window for all I care—just convince me, or you lose me as your reader.

Sometimes you may think you have something correct, but you do not! oopsies! It doesn’t hurt to double-check those things you “remember” or “think you know.” I had Tang in a Tender Graces scene–later, it began to bug me, when was Tang invented? I looked it up and Lawd!, it wasn’t released to the general public until sometime after my scene–the astronauts had it first.

Whenever I mentioned a movie or a television show or a football game, I made sure I had it Right. Folkses, you don’t EVEN want to go messing with South Louisiana and have their LSU Tigers game days, or anything else, wrong–lawd! I can’t have my South Louisiana town’s team playing  Old Miss in September when they didn’t play until later in the season, or have them playing in town when it was an out of town game. I can’t have the movie Rocky coming out in March of 1976 (in Secret Graces), because it didn’t release until December 1976. Look It Up and double check–our memories are wankity.

You can play around with research to enhance your books. Was there a significant weather event that would change something with my characters or their Place? Or make something fun/interesting? (Like the South Louisiana Hurricane mention in TG when Mee Maw comes to visit—category five Grandmother.) Or, if in the holler in West Virginia there was a bad snow storm, Katie Ivene wouldn’t be flying to town in her Rambler with the windows open yelling “wheeee!” I found sites that show historical weather. I love those little details even if only I know that on April 13, 1976, it really was 82 degrees and foggy in a town in South Louisiana (I use weather more as a mood or as Place or whatever, not that I go around quoting weather).

Little details help the reader to “Be There” with the character, to ground them in a place or time or mood, maybe even to have them say, “I know that place/event/area!” “Hey, I remember that!”

Don’t rely on only one source. I do the best I can to make sure I have everything as accurate as possible—because you are worth my time and care, you being the reader. Often, I double and triple check my sources.

Will someone find an error if they go through my books with a fine-toothed eye? I don’t know, but it won’t be for lack of me working hard and doing my job best I can. I don’t respect lazy writing and I know it when I read it.

When and how you do your research is up to you. Do what works.

Don’t cheat. Don’t be lazy. It’s worth it to build trust with your readers. Do you want your reader to stop and say, “Hey, wait a minute! This ain’t right . . .” and bump them from your world, your story? Naw! And more important to me: I want my reader to trust me and to forget about me and only focus on the narrator and the story.

Do you make sure you have things Right and build trust? Does your work require extensive research, or just a bit?

See all y’allses wunnerfuls later!

Don’t forget: I changed my blog posting schedule for my Classroom series & I am your Personal Trainer series, etc, to the first and third Wednesdays of the month, with Friday open to photos/art/video: no words. So there will only be posts twice a month, and on most Fridays, photos/video/art with no words.

Monday Classroom: See-Saw/Watch(ed)/Look(ed) – cleaning up our manuscripts, y’all (and no whining allowed!)

Morning all y’allses out there, wherever you are. I first want to say how much I appreciate you. Many of you come by here for every post, and there are those of you who leave comments regularly. Thank you.

I have not been able to return the favor as I used to, but I am subscribed to many of your blogs if you have that capability, and I do read your posts in my email. I know many of you are in the same ole boat–so much to do, so many blogs, so much social networking–Lawd!

I am behind on writing The Lightning Charmer because I whined too much instead of trusting my process.  ”I caaaaaan’t write this boooooook. Cause it suuuuuuucccckkkks and I suuuucccck!” I have a deadline; I have already received my advance; I have people depending on me, readers waiting. There should be No Whining Allowed! But whine I did. I felt stuck.

After four published novels and a novella, you’d think I’d Have This. But we can always create some angst, can’t we? Lawdy be in a bucket – yes. Folks, sometimes just switching a scene around (making something happen earlier–as I did to TLC) or turning the manuscript on its head in some other way does the trick–Hey! Why, there it is! There’s the thang I was looking for hiding in plain ole sight–haw! And then the “flutter” of excitement begins in my/our belly and off I/we go! Give that sucker (your manuscript) a shake and see what falls out. Do whatever it takes to make it seem fresh  and alive. No Whining Allowed! (Okay, you can give yourself “whine time” as long as you do not give in to it for longer than two shakes of a hippo’s tail.)

Sometimes it is appropriate for a character to see-saw/watch(ed)/look(ed). But oft-times we write the character seeing looking watching when the direct action would work better. Right? Riiighhht!

For example, let’s say there’s a scene in Tender Graces where Virginia Kate and Micah are on the porch in the Looseeaner house after she’s left West Virginia.

Oh look! A rock. I am looking at the rock. You are looking at the rock. GMR is watching me look at the rock. I saw the rock. I see the rock and saw it and looked at it

Scene:

I looked over at Micah as we rocked on the porch. I saw him grin at me. I watched him run down the steps, pick up a pretty rock, and bring it back to me. He looked at me looking at the rock. I saw him look at me. We looked at each other and smiled. I watched him sit down. He looked at me as I rocked. I watched as he rocked. Then we looked at the sky because we were danged ole sick of looking at each other, sheesh.

Okay, folkses, I know that’s a little extreme, *teehee,* but you get the idea. Obviously sometimes we use looked/watched/saw, etc, because it fits the scene. Sometimes Virginia Kate uses the “I’m a looking fool” because that’s what she does–her thang; in those cases, I actually use it as a device, On Purpose, and I know it is On Purpose and the audience knows it is On Purpose–if they do not, then I ain’t done my job. This is what I mean about breaking rules or manipulating the language—if you are aware of what you are doing, if you are doing it On Purpose, it is fun to play with the language and it can be quite effective/affective.

If the sneakity sneaker thangs make their way into the work, then being aware of those sneakies will help tighten the manuscript.

Don’t stress yourself striving for perfection, especially in the first draft or two. I like to slam that story down first. However, the more you know instinctively, the less mess you have to clean up, right? RIIIIGHHHT!

Simplistically:
I saw the ball hit the wall. – The ball hit the wall.

I watched Marie jump rope. – Marie jumped rope.

I looked at Jennifer eating her pie. – Jennifer ate her pie. I want pie–this has nothing to do with this post, I just want pie now.

The audience will know the narrator is doing the watching/looking without us bomping them upside the head with it.

Playing with language and words is the most wonderful danged old thang in the world. If you tend to “over-do” or “over-use” certain words or phrases, etc, find ways to recast your sentences/phrases to create a tighter work. A swollen manuscript will become, well, not swolled up.

So, pull up your manuscript in your editing phases and do a search/find and see how many “look/see-saw/watch” you have hiding in there. You may be surprised.

Now–go Do This Day with Gratitude. And write.

Monday Classroom: The angst we can heap on our pea-heads, or the joy – you are in control, right?

Sometimes I follow Good Man Roger into Ingles Supermarket as he shops for groceries (yeah, he does the grocery shopping and most the cooking because I just ain’t innerested, y’allses! Left to my own self’ses, I eat the weirdest stuff that does not require cooking, or very little of it). I wander the aisles touching things and going “Hmmmm . . . food good, like food . . .” or I’ll study the ad copy on some miracle face cream and wonder if it’ll make me look like the Tender Graces author photo my publishers airbrushed–I look like my younger cousin once removed *lawd!*

And while doing these la-tee-dah thangs, I suddenly think, “Oh, hey, hold up y’all! I just remembered! I’m a published author.” I lift up my head from bright-colored packaging and muse-i-vate, “Right this very danged ole moment, someone may be reading one of my books . . .” Oh wonderment!–and

I gots books and friends and family – lucky me!

no one even knows who I am. But what if someone does? What if that person who just walked by and looked at me and smiled as if they know me does “know” me. Lawd! Teeheehee! I’m an author and I done wrote some books and those books are out there somewhere on someone’s bedside or bookshelf, or in their Kindle or Nook or whatever, whodathunkit?

I inhale that moment with the mountain air. I swallow it down and it enters my blood and rushes through my veins and fills my marrow and I’m full full full of how wunnerful it all is. As if I can think, “My time has come at last.” Without hubris, for humility covers my head like a gentle hand staying the jittery jumping up and down in glee–yeah, that humility ain’t always humble in us, is it? But it sure will kick us upside our asses if we become too comfy in our authory skinses and think we’re all that and then some on a southern-fried stick *haw haw.* Dang. I wanna be all that and then some on a southern-fried stick, at least a little. Right? Riiighhht. For without goals, what are we? Goal-less I guess – teehee. But I need me some goals. Something to work for, and that something is You and You and You reading me me me. Right? Isn’t that what you all writers out there want? Besides some Pride in our accomplishments? Maybe a best-seller list. And an award–ohh, yeah, a big fat ole award telling us how brilliant we are! Oh, yeah, and our ever-present humility, too – haw!

Yup, there are those moments of such clarity, those that stop me short in the peanut butter and jelly aisle. Those moments where I feel gratitude, and a surreal fascination with the entire process of writing and books and language and publishing. And how I am a part of all that even if in a small way in the Big Fat Ass Scheme of Thangs.

Aw lawd, what if what if what if what if – I’m trapped in What If Land!

Then, lawd he’p me, there are the moments of terror. The expectations I heap upon my ole pea-head until it’s heavy and I have to go lie down and pull some covers over my weighted-with-angsty-lawdyness head. I lie in my bed and the anxiety curls itself around my innards. “What if this very

lawdy! gots my pea-head all tied up in knots!

moment someone is reading my book and thinks, ‘This isn’t very good. I think I’ll put it down and read something else . . .’” Oh horrors! ”What if I don’t sell many books and my publishers and family and friends think I’m a failure?” Ungh  ungh! “What if the next book isn’t as good as the last? And was the last good enough?” Shivers on me timbers! “What if I let everyone down?” Oh Chicken Little, be quiet! The sky is not falling to bang you upside your head, lessen you pull it down your head. Right? Riiiighhhht.

There is such contradiction in this process of having your dream come true. For me, the original dream was to see my Virginia Kate novel published and to know she is being read and enjoyed by someone somewhere. I accomplished that. Everything else should be lagniappe (that’s a South Loooseeeaner term for “just a little something more.”) But when those little voices creep up and tell us how we need to do more, and more, and even more, and ever ever ever MORE MORE MORE MORE, this is when the joy of the language, the characters, the readers, the accomplishment of writing and publishing a novel is not enough and we think we have to have/do/be it all– and most of us can’t have/do/be it all. There’s always going to be Something More unless we find a way to put all this in some perspective, stop and take a breath, and then decide what our ultimate Goal is and how we will get there and if we do not get there will we be happy with what we DO have.

Welp, guess what? We really are in control of what we want to heap on our wittle pea-headed selves–much more than we give our selfses credit for. We can heap and heap, or we can not heap and heap.

Relax, relax, relax and enjoy life sometime . . .

I know I like me better when I’m walking through the grocery store and suddenly stop and that beautiful realization pops me upside my head that I actually did it. I wrote a novel and that novel is published and then I wrote three more of them and they were published, and any one of them could be, right at this moment, read and enjoyed by someone out there somewhere. Sometimes that is enough. Those Dang! Whoop! I did it! moments of tasting our accomplishments–rolling those accomplishments on our tongue. Sometimes, it is enough. Sometimes. Sommmmeeetimmmmmessssss it is enough *sigh*

My challenge to all of you is to stop where you are at this moment in your life, savor who and where you are—hold close to you the Right Now moment, before you move on to MORE MORE MORE. Then, when you move on to More, maybe it’ll have a Name and  Goal instead of “I have to have/be/do it ALL!”

squirrels ain’t stressing

Right now. Right here at this moment, a mountain breeze flies down from the ridge and brushes against my face, a bird’s bright eye watches me, a chipmunk fills its cheeks with seed, the red squirrels are fussing, the creek sings its journey song to the bold creek to the river to the ocean, the sun tips greened trees, and I feel a connection to every creature, every living being—through words and thought and life. I will soon begin my day’s work and it is good. It is good. Right now, it is good.

Thank all y’allses for reading: Now . . . what is your right now, right here moment?

And what is your Ultimate Goal?

Monday Classroom: let’s drink a big ole glass of Discipline Juice, y’allses!

The thing that keeps me on my treadmill for an hour and then to my strength training exercises and then to my mat for yoga; the thing that stops me from eating beyond the point when I have had quite enough; the thing that tells me “no” when I want something I can’t afford and so I walk away from it; the thing that has me flossing every night because it is good for me; the thing that keeps me healthy and strong and powerful is—Discipline. But this isn’t Wednesday and time for Personal Trainer Kat, this is Monday Classroom.

So, my beautiful friends, that same discipline I use for my body is a contributing factor—a hah-uuuge one—to being a successful author/novelist. And by “successful,” for these purposes, I mean an author/novelist who creates and completes

works. And for this author, that means at least a book a year–so far. Without discipline, it’s easy to slip into the idea of writing, to talking about writing, to writing about writing, without ever actually writing the danged ole book. I’m looking at you—yeah you! You with the Face! The Guilty Face! You know I’m right don’t you? Right? Riiighhht. And my face can be added to the guilty since I have been doing just about everything BUT the writing of “The Lightning Charmer,” which is due in a year–and that year will speed of light pass. Why have I not been writing?–shiny things! shiny things! shiny things! And folkses, the writing is what I love the best–it’s the balm that soothes. I’ve not been drinking my Discipline Juice and it shows–my black-holed brain’s synapses are WHOOP WHOOP WHIR WHIR BA-LOOP BA-LOOP BOING BOING. Oh dear.

As much as I love what I do–writing books–I sometimes will procrastinate. Yeah! Me! Huhn. Can you buh-leeve it? Little ole pea-headed me la tee dahing around as if I don’t have a thang in the world to do – la la la la la tee dah. There’s some shiny thing that captures my attention, or I’ll play on the internet, or I’ll call myself doing “research” when I know all I’m doing is messing around. Well,  it’s time for danged ole mean Discipline to pull me up by my ears and sit my arse in my chair and put my fingers on the keys and tell me, “Stop fekering around and write your danged book, or else!”

My (and yours, too?) Or else’s could mean, do mean—

The less I write, the crazier I am—oh you think I am being a cliché? That I’m pulling on that “writer’s persona” – oh no y’allses. I am slap dab cray-cray when I do not regularly write. And “or else” means I’ll not meet my deadlines—if I were working at a “9 to 5 regular job” and didn’t do my work, I’d be fired; well, it’s the same if I don’t meet my deadlines—then I could hear a see ya Kat! We’ll go find some author who takes her job seriously and meets her deadlines and actually writes books instead of just saying she’s going to—huhn. I’ve always met my deadlines because I drank my Discipline Juice. Give me a glass, quick! If I don’t write my readers will sure miss my books—okay, this is  my hope anyway *haw!* But, yes, I suppose there are some who would miss me before eventually forgetting about me because there are plenny more authors out there who will WRITE THE DANGED BOOK! It means I don’t pull in a salary. “Or else” means I let people down—and I let myself down.

Folks, whatever it is you want, discipline is the vehicle to drive you there—hey “drive” – yeah – discipline and drive – get it Huh? get it! Ha!

Discipline: Thesaurus on word doc reads—control, regulation, restraint, authority obedience, and the opposite of it reads: CHAOS. Oh! How perfect for me! Yes, chaos happens inside my pea-headed brain and all up and around this here Self when I am not disciplined. Lawdy be.

Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird -

Y’allses, you must drink your daily glass of Discipline Juice so you can grow strong and supple and capable of leaping tall buildings in a single bound! Or at least you will reach your goals and do the things you wish for, hope for, live for, dream about, and if leaping tall buildings in a single bound is your dream, well, um, well—okay, it probably ain’t gonna happen—I hate to be the one to bust up your bubbles but maybe you oughta think of something else to strive for. Just sayin. Buildings are TALL, dang it all. Oh, you meant metaphorically leap over them -well, why didn’t you say so. Huhn.

Without discipline we eat and drink too much, spend too much, laze around too much, make excuses too much.

Discipline can suck. Discipline is a party-pooper. Discipline is on its high-horse, sitting there all holier than thou and all, huhn! But, it belongs on its pedestal, for when it is practiced, when discipline is hugged to us and becomes a part of us, it creates and builds and achieves and glorifies and stretches us beyond what and where we ever thought we’d go and be.

La tee dah - oh the inside of my hat is soooo innnnnerestin' shiny things shiny things!

Discipline is what is going to get me off this blog and into my word doc, off bloopering around social networking (even telling myself “but it’s for my novels—I’m promo’ing!” Uh Huh, you are “promo’ing” about as much as a dawg “promos” on the lawn. You ain’t doing shit.), gets me out of my Boopmobile “because I have to run some errands” (although I do rarely leave my lil log house and maybe should run more errands, haw!), gets me off my couch until it’s actually time to hit my couch—sends me right-cheer to sit on my butt and write The Lightning Charmer and the next book and the next. To give it all I have. To write with all the heart I have—and when I do this, I am doing what I do best, what I love, and it’s the greatest thing ever, and then Discipline shakes its head and rolls its eyes as I say, “Why’d I procrastinate? This is WONDERFUL! This is all I ever wanted to do! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! YAAAHOOOOOOOOOO!”

So how’s about it y’all? Let’s all drink a big ole glass of Discipline Juice and get our arses to work. You up for it? Drink it down and then use Discipline when that next “THANG” hovers before your brain all tantalizing and shiny—that choice you will make without excuses to do what you have to/must do for your dreams is Discipline. The choice (discipline) that will yield results.

What do you need to be more disciplined about, my friends?

Monday Classroom: Befores/Afters – Errors and Reading your manuscript aloud . . .

I could not make my side trip toTexas, so I am home in my mountain cove from the Fairhope trip and ready to find my routine again. Though it will be an altered routine as I will really need to put my head down and work on the next book. I hope to continue my blog posts three times a week as I have been doing, though my visiting will be scattered willy nilly, so if you do make it by here, I so appreciate your support.

My deadline is a year away, and that may seem a long time, but it is not. Nopeses. That time will fleetingly flyyyyyyy on by and next I know I’ll be going, “OMG OMG, DEADLINE DEADLINE DEADLINE ALERT ALERT ALERT SOUND THE ALARM! BAAA-WOOOP, BAAAA-WOOOP, BAAA-WOOOP!”

Let me tell y’allses. There is Life Before Publication and Life After Publication—where I had my “pre published” notions naïve arse kicked. And I’ll be posting some of those thoughts in future Monday Classroom postings. For exampleroony, Errors In Books. That bane of an author’s existence. The burr in our backsides. The thorn in our toeses. The—okay, you get the idea: the ARRRRRGGHH! of discovering an error after all our hard work. Lawd.

author contemplating her smugness gone buh-bye

Before I had novels published, I used to feel this sense of smugness when I’d find an error in an author’s novel. A sort of “Humph, that won’t happen to me! I won’t be so sloppy.” Ha. Boy, the naïve things I used to think about this business “before and after publishing my own.”

The frustration truth is: somehow, errors do find a way of slipping through in our work—and this includes the work of seasoned “big time” authors with “big time” publishers, oh yes.

Now, y’all, not only do I read my novel multiples of times, and that means on my computer, on a print-out, and now on my Kindle, but my publishers have a copy-editor and a proof-reader who scour the novel for nits. And, guess whatses? Still, things can slip through. They hide, giggling in the pages, and then come out once the novel is published—lawdy! Those little stinkers. Some authors won’t read their published books, but I do. I have to. I have to “see;” and I want to re-visit the characters and place as a reader instead of an author. I am compelled to read the finished product.

Now, all that said, I can’t stand “lazy writing—” when it is obvious the author didn’t take care with their book and instead slammed it out in a hurry to be published. There is the occasional error that may slip through, and then there is the sloppy slip-slop of which every so often I read and shake my haid and go tsk tsk tsk, for shaaaaaammmmme.

"serious" authors

Truth is, for most all us serious authors (and I say “serious” authors as the ones who really do care about our final product), it’s difficult when an author is on deadline, and when books are coming at least one a year (some authors write more than that, and one year I did—never again!), for the time it takes to develop the story and then go through all the stages before publication can be stressful if one is pushed to their limits. And we want you readers to love us so, and to enjoy/love our books and characters and places. We are sincere, you can bet your booticles.

The last chance an author has to find errors is in the galley proof. Galley Proofs make authors, or at least this one, gulp and swallow. For if we miss an error at this point, oh well! It goes to print like that. Oh deary.

This time when I received the galley for Family Graces, I did something I have always said I would do, but never did it—mostly because it’s a pain in the arse. Big Danged Ole Pain In The Big Pain In the Big Danged Ass. But, I did it. I forced myself to read the entire manuscript aloud. Aw Lawd!

My tongue swelled. My throat dried to a crispy critter. My voice warbled and wavered and graveled. And not only did I read aloud, but I forced myself to trail my pen along the manuscript on each word. Ungh. Ungh. Ungh. He’p me lawd. Again: Pain. In. The. Arse.

But guess what? I found a few errors I’d missed in my multiple readings on multiple devices. I found errors missed by the copy-editor and by the proofer—and they are good at what they do! But there they were, nitty little sneaky little bast—um, stinkers that had hidden away, giggling with their little hands over their little mouths. Luckily, the only errors I found were those little gigglers and not anything major, but still. Ungh. There they were, hiding in plain danged ole sight.

If there is a giggler left hiding in Family Graces after all that proofing, I Do.Not.Want.To.Know. Aw lawd! I’m going to read the published book with one eye closed.

Now, will I read my future manuscripts aloud? You bet I will. Would I suggest to you to do it: Yup, and believe me, I didn’t think I’d go for it—it takes an incredible amount of time, and it’s boring and it makes your tongue feel as if it’s going

only nature is perfection

to fall out of your mouth and go slugging off for the Bahamas. But what happens is, as you read and trail along that pen, if your mind reads what it wants to read versus what is on the paper, your eyes/pen will note it, so that your brain takes a little “skip” there and you go “wait . . . wait . . .” and go back. It takes mere seconds for this to happen, and it’s effective.  But if you are not reading aloud, your mind will just read what it wants without your mouth along for the ride—does that even make sense? Haw! Just think about it for a bit and it’ll become clear—right? Riiiiiggghht.

Though I didn’t find any in Family Graces, this is a great way to discover other blips and blurps in your book—wonky scenes and such-all. There were a few places where I may have altered the sentence/phrase a bit, but not enough to send my editor into fits of LAWD NO LAWD NO LAWD NO STOP IT KAT STOP BEING SO DANGED PICKY—YOU ARE DRIVING US INSANE WITH YOUR PICKY-PERSNICKITY- AUUUGGGHHH! Teeeheeeheee.

Folkses, I never thought I’d be able to read an entire novel aloud. That’s approximately 90,000 words in this book. One.Word.At.A.Time. But I cannot deny the effectiveness of this. I’ll do it again–after my tongue returns from its vacay to the Bahamas. Lawd.

So, any of you out there read aloud your work? And have you found it an effective way to find errors?

Friday Linky Love: Space Porn & Blogger Buds & RT Art Gallery . . .

Morning from my porch at Killian Knob!

Remember I wrote last Friday that I’d not be on any panels at the Fairhope Conference? Welp, somehow I ended up on two panels *laughing* lawd (Our Rose & Thorn Journal panel of what editors are looking for, and I’ll be on a “what works and what doesn’t in social media [when it comes to our books], etc, panel). If you are in around those parts, come join us. Angie Ledbetter and I would love to say hello.

Also, I hope you will stop by our newest feature at the Rose & Thorn – our Art Galley “wall.” We are blown away by the art/artists. While there, check out the prose and poetry–soon, May 15, our spring issue will go live. Every other Wednesday on our blog, our Art Director Alaine Benard announces two new artists. We are honored. The alternating blog posts are Back Story posts from our writers and poets. Y’all come!

Linda Hoye, a wonderful beautiful woman, has a new book coming out in June, a memoir “Two Hearts.” Go by and check it out. I’m looking forward to buying my own copy!

I’ve been visiting Write It Sideways, and today’s post is about “How to read your way to better writing.” I can’t imagine never reading (double negative -haw!). It’s always been about The Book. I adore books, and that’s part of the reason I became a writer–the two are intertwined.

Karen Elliott has had “Musician Week” over at her blog. Prior to that was “editor week” — I always look forward to her “weeks” :-D

Sharla Lovelace is having some wonderful contests over at her blog to celebrate the release of her new book “The Reason is You,” which comes out next month. Go by – it’s easy and fun and you just may win a prize.

I had a wonderful time at Book Blather on Marilee’s blog. Unfortunately, I, and some others who stopped by, weren’t able to comment, so I want to to thank those who stopped by and read. I enjoyed the conversation with Marilee. As well, I was so nervous about putting up that small excerpt from the new Graces book coming out this spring– it was one of the sadder/darker parts of Family Graces.

spring is here in the mountains! wow!

I stumbled on this site, Space Porn (laughing!), from a Huffington Post article. I love science and physics, and even if I don’t always grasp every concept, I can’t get enough of it! At Huffington, I spend time on the Books and Book Publishing areas, but I’ll also go to the food and science posts as well.

That’s enough for now. I’m busy listening to the Sweetie audio book files just to make sure all is well. I want to finish that this week, since I’m hopping in the BoopMobile and heading Down South to Fairhope next week. Poor GMR and Not Quite Fat Dog and Psycho Cutie Girl will miss me – - maybe, haw! Oh, ‘course they will, teeheehee. I am amazed at how the “voice-artist” reads–her instincts are so on point and her voice so clear and mesmerizing, it’s really not a chore at all to listen. She’s absolutely wonderful and is bringing to life my characters. She’s perfect for Melissa’s voice. Love it and her!

boop-boop-beep-beep!

Now, y’all go do the day, feel Gratitude, and have a wonderful weekend.

Monday Classroom: Are you bored with your manuscript?

You stare at your computer screen, willing yourself to open the manuscript you’ve been working on, or start that new story/novel/whatever. Instead, you surf the net, check your email, tweet, Pin some inneresting stuff onto Pinterest, read Facebook updates and then update how you need to get back to writing—hahaha—but—hahaha—you’re just so distracted—hahaha—and well it’s soooo haaarrrd being a writer–hahaha, eat last night’s leftovers and the Hubig’s pie that’s still half-frozen (don’t judge me, ungh!), call out in a strong and determined holler, “What? What? Did you call me? Here I am! I thought sure I heard you say to come here. No? Well I heard something. Huhn. Isn’t that funny? Well, since I’m already here, I guess I’ll just scrub out the sink, la la la tee dah scrub scrub la la scrub la la la. I just looooove a clean sink; don’t you?”

Sometimes you may feel as if you want to ditch the entire manuscript, stomp off, and never open up that word document again. You may think, “I am B O R E D, b-o-r-e-d, bored.”

Welp, my good friends, let’s first consider that “boredom” may not be the real problem. ‘Kay? Imagine my benevolent head hovering over your shoulder, smiling encouragement and . . . okay, that’s kind of disturbing an image, so, um . . . anyway . . .

If you lose motivation to keep writing on a project (or finishing any project—like renewing your driver’s license because you keep failing the online test because you can’t remember all that crap and what’s a point anyway? Ungh.), maybe you do need a break—so yeah, go clean out the sink, watch brain-emptying television, read a book (which you should be doing anyway *giving you The Eye*), do some research, take a long walk somewhere quiet and restive, take a shower (unfortunately, no one’s yet, that I know of, invented waterproof pen and paper to take notes of the BRILLIANT ideas that come while you are washing your hair . . . lawd), et cetera. You can also try working on something else for a while, then go back to your original project. I find, as well, that starting at the beginning of my novel/novella/short story/essay and reading it from Word One spurs off more ideas, thoughts, and brings renewed energy to the project—it reminds me of why I wanted to write it in the first place, what brought me to these characters, setting, and situation. I fall in love all over again—oh siigghhhhh *little cute hearts abound*

If you are still unmotivated, maybe it’s time to consider why? If you are truly bored by your work and are not excited about working on it despite all my kick-arse ideas (hey! Who said that? They are, too!), will your readers feel that boredom as well? Hmmm? Think about it—if we are bored and uninspired by our work, how much more so will our readers feel this way? Believe me, it shows in our work. Our attitudes about character, place, scene, setting, tone, et cetera, will manifest into our Product. We should be the first champions, the first lovers of, the first excited readers of our work. Does this mean we’re always WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP *happy dance la la la laaaa!* about our work—naw, but you and I know when all the air’s been let loose from the balloon and what’s left is a sad limp wrinkled rubbery thang.

Perhaps you are stuck on a scene or chapter—then move on to the next one. Perhaps a character isn’t ringing true—ask yourself why; are you forcing your will onto the character instead of letting them be who they are? Do you have some “agenda” for that character that is your agenda and not what the character would ever care about? Be careful when you try to “get a message across” to your readers, for it can set you up for wooden prose and wooden characters.

Bluebird of happiness won't crap on your shoulder!

Perhaps you are simply discombobulated (oh how I love that word! Let’s say it together: dis-com-bob-u-lated—teehehee) or tired—go take a nap, sleep a good night’s sleep (don’t underestimate the importance of sleep—sometimes things Come To Me after a good night’s rest; a solution, where I go HEY! Whoop! Bingo!). Maybe you are stressed about that “$*%&$*% (that’s a curse word—oh, you knew that, well ex-scuuuuuse me) editor/taskmaster on your shoulder, so lower the stakes a little—don’t let yourself become so worried about where the book is going after you complete it (read that again—don’t let yourself become so worried about where the book is going after you complete it) and instead again find the joy of writing and creating—be In The Moment *cue new age music here.*

Maybe you need to hit the good ole delete key and be rid of some dead-weighted text. Oh, the delete key can be our friend—no really! I’ve grown to rather like that ole delete key. Look at it—give it a pet, stroke the key and say, “the pweshush, oh the pweshush.” I’ve deleted entire chapters, thousands of words, and after that, felt a renewed energy for the work. Keeping what doesn’t work, what bores us or stalls us will do us no good. There are always more words—trust yourself and the process. You can always save the deleted words in case you decide you want them after all—but guess what? Most times you won’t miss them. Really! You doubt me? *trap door opens, you fall into dungeon*

metaphor for bright shiny thoughts

It’s okay to be stuck with your work at times. It’s okay to feel frustrated. It’s okay to put it away and work on something else for a bit. It’s okay to hate being a writer sometimes. It’s okay to stomp your feet and raise a fist to the sky and ask, “WHY DO I DO THIS? WHY WHY WHY OH WHYYYYYYYYYY DO I TORTURE MYSELF IN THIS WAY? I SUCK; MY WORK SUCKS; BEING A WRITER SUCKS! SANCTUARY SANCTUARY!” Yes, it’s perfectly normal and fine to feel that way, as long as you don’t let it overtake you, consume you, have you arrested for climbing atop some building and rending your garments. As long as you scream and stomp and angst and feel depressed and feel defeated and feel horrid and yucky and icky and poodly doo doo pee-pee-poo-poo doody head, and Then You Go Back To The Work.

Now, go stomp up a hissy fit and then take a deep breath and fall in love with your characters and their stories all over again.

Oh! and here is the book-cover for my new novel Family Graces (which, by the way, gave me ten kinds of unholy hell, but I finally found what I was looking for–don’t give up on what you know is viable work). This is the last book in the Graces (Virginia Kate) Saga Trilogy. It will be released in spring. And you know, I’m grieving in a way–I know that sounds crazy, but I’m going to miss writing about Virginia Kate and all the others. She, and they, have been with me for years. Tender Graces was my very first ever novel to write! *sad face* So, at last, the Graces Trilogy complete:

Now Go Do The Day! And tell me, how do you inspire yourself to go back to work?

Friday Linky Love Day: Little’a this and little’a that.

Colleague and friend, author Vanessa Gebbie - the US edition of her novel, The Coward’s Tale, comes out early next week with Bloomsbury. I read Gebbie’s collection of stories, “Words from a Glass Bubble,” and oh, I was so happy to have read that book, so looking forward to her novel. She also has a really cool website that rather fascinates me.

Some of you may have already read this post from a while back, but if not, I’m a guest on Bellebooks/Bell Bridge books blog – Is the Novelist Work Not Valued, or Under Valued?

Stacy S. Jensen ”Writing My Way Through Life” has a Thankful Thursday (love!), and for her TT this week, she talks about the wonderful Writer Unboxed, for which they will soon have a newsletter. Go by and check out Stacy’s blog, and while there, read all about Writer Unboxed and their up-coming newsletter news. Excited!

A friend of mine has a new blog, so want to send her some linky love – Stories of Strong Southern Women–”Nothing is ever truly forgotten. The past lives forever in our memories. Marina Aimer.”

I adore MORE magazine, and am a subscriber. Received my new issue yesterday and am gobbling it up. I love how it is geared towards women over 40, although the magazine attracts other ages, as well. They are also online, and have a 20 Get-Healthy Beauty Picks. Since I do my “I’m your guinea pig” series on Wednesay Free-for-all, I may try out one or two of these products and let you know how it goes–especially the Miss Oops for rosacea. I would be in a state of YAYY! if More would have my books in their “books” section. Especially for “women over 50″ who have achieved a life-long dream. A girl can dream for more (haha! hey -!) can’t she? :-D lawd.

On the Rose & Thorn Blog, we added a feature in the comments section where you may now add a link to your blog or website when you leave a comment. We’re hoping you will stop by and subscribe, read, comment. Our poets, writers, and artists will appreciate you. Up now is notice on our two new artists for our new Art Gallery.

I read a lot of my publishing news on Huffington Post. It’s an easy way to see things at a glance. They also have many things to read — health, beauty, entertainment, etc etc etc — as if I need one more place to distract me – haw! But, well, dang.

And speaking of distraction, I dipped my teeny toe in Pinterest. I’m not sure if I’ll be so active with it, but I do see the appeal! What I want to be careful with is copyright issues. I’m uber careful about copyright, but I will be fiddle-dee-deeing around with it, as long as I am sure whatever images I place on my “boards” are not someone else’s “property.” When I signed up, Pinterest automatically followed a bunch of people, so maybe I am already following you there! :-D

An Update – Author Sharla Lovelace (The Reason is You will be out this spring, right about the time my Family Graces will be – I read this book because I “cover-blurbed” it – it’s wonderful!) anyway, I’m (Sweetie is) on her “Shameless Saturday” where writers can leave a comment and “shamelessly” talk about their works.

 

 

I was fascinated by the images that showed up on just my name and my name + Tender Graces in google images. Including this photo (lawd! laughing!). (No, I wasn’t googling myself -teeheee- I was looking for my Amazon Author Page to make sure these posts were showing up . . . they are . . . and saw the links. Huhn. :-D) Yup, that’s Tender Graces covering the, uh, the, um, well I . . .  anyway . . . *ahem* Anyyyywaaaaay, I have a vague memory of someone sending me this image and our having a good laugh, but I don’t remember who it was . . . haw! lawdy.

This video made me laugh. I don’t do book signings anymore (or very very rarely), so this really hit home “You mean it didn’t go well; I signed you for three more” and the look on his face – haw! :-D

Soon I should be receiving the new bookcover for the 2nd book, Secret Graces, and the for the final in the trilogy, Family Graces, and when I do, I’ll share them *smiling.* Beginning March 1, my “vacay break between novels” ends and I’ll be putting my head down to work on my 5th novel (not counting the novella, but maybe I should!). Terrifying and exciting and wonderful.

What’s your news? What’s happening with you? Any news you want to share?