Work-out Writer: After the big cussin’ hissy fit, we may see a truth we tried to deny

Jerkface, sumbitch! Huhn!

Workout: Saturday while on the treadmill doing a new, and particularly high energy part of my workout, some jerkface came over, waved his hand in my face, and then bitched me out for stomping on the treadmill. I couldn’t even respond—I was so furious, a sailor would blush at what caught in my throat and I had to swallow down.  All the rest of the weekend, I was pissed off, and within that anger came a little depression and anxiety: what would I do? That newer part of the aerobic workout kicked my ass but good and was something different, made me sweat, helped control my stress and take down my jitteriness a notch. I kept seeing his face; kept seeing his hand waving in my face; kept seeing me punching his face until it was a bloody-ass pulp (um, yeah, not proud of that thought, lawd!)

I didn’t even look forward to my next workout, for I thought, “It’s all ruined. My joy is ruined. My workout is ruined. Woe is me.”

*woe is wittle me*

Meanwhile, I’d conveniently forgotten how many people said I inspire them, how they enjoy my joy. I’d forgotten that the addition of this stomping was fairly new, and in a quiet little dark corner of myself, I knew I shouldn’t have been doing it—it just felt so good I ignored everything and everyone else. I was being stubborn. I wanted want I wanted. I didn’t want to give it up cause it was just so cool.

omg – I was being an asshole, too!

But, when I allowed my rage to subside. When I stopped thinking, “That sonuvabitch jackass mo-fo, rude asshole!” I heard what he said, not how he said it. And folks, yeah, I sure was being disrespectful to others and the equipment at that particular addition of my high-energy workout. Admitting that made me pull up my big girl panties and acknowledge I was being an asshole, too. I don’t excuse his delivery system, for he had no call for the way he treated me, but hidden in his Big Ass Stupid Face Assholedom was some truth.

This morning, as I stepped on the treadmill, someone said something so positive, reminding me that I wasn’t a bad person, I hadn’t always been so out of control, and I felt my joy slipping back in. Instead of stomping like an over-crazed idiot, I found something else to do that kicked my ass even better and more efficiently, and without worrying about hurting myself, and just as wonderful, I was still respectful of the machines and others.

WHUPOW!

Writer: Sometimes when we’re given critique/edit suggestions from our editors or beta reader, or whomever, that we don’t like, we may be tempted to say “Oh, they just don’t get it; they don’t understand what I’m trying to do; they SUCK! I ain’t listening. If I change this, it ruins everything! If I take that out/put that in/alter that, then what?  Waaaaaaah! Sumbitches!”  We push any rational thought aside, cuss, holler to the four winds of the universe how unfair they are, and how they just don’t get us and our work. Want to smack them three sides to Tuesday. We may want to give up, give in, be depressed and defeated. Put aside the work and walk away.

Well, shit . . . huh. I guess I see what you’re saying . . ..

However, if we still our minds and think of the bigger message, even if it’s embedded in a delivery we don’t appreciate, we may just find some truth in that critique/edit. We can pull on our big girl panties, or big boy undies, and acknowledge how we are being intractable, childish. We can pull back and look at their suggestions/comments, see if really they do have something to add to our manuscript, after all. Then, we find a way to work the manuscript into something that still gives us joy, makes us excited, and works ever so much better to make the work kick-ass.

I actually do have a can of this!

WHUPOW! Open up a can of whoopass and get going!

Work-out writer: A leaner you; a leaner manuscript

from SHAPE magazine site

Work-out: Want an efficient work out? Try interval training. The easy answer to “what is interval training” is, for example, say you usually walk on the treadmill at a steady pace — even if it’s a fast pace — for thirty minutes to an hour. Try adding in short bursts of speed or intensity. You want to raise your heart rate; to go fast/hard enough that you think, “Omg! I can’t go much farther!” then you slow it back down and catch your breath. Do this several times during your workout–get that heart rate going and then slowing it down, up and down, up and down, until you are sweating and feeling kick-ass, and as if your ass was kicked! It’s efficient and effective. Though I do high-energy intervals for an hour, actually you do not have to go that long. It’s all about making it efficient — I’m just insane *laugh*

For a better, more comprehensive explanation, here’s an article in Shape Magazine: Interval Training: Short Workouts That Really Pay Off 

(As I always tell you: please see your doctor before beginning an exercise, or new exercise, routine.)

Writer: Want a more efficient manuscript? If we want our manuscripts to be “lean” and tight, sometimes we have to delete. Find those areas that are flabby and develop their muscles. Our manuscripts can become bloated after writing up those first drafts. We’re developing characters, setting, scene, etc. We’re trying to find our way, and the character’s way. One of the “easier” ways to develop a leaner manuscript is to find and delete  ”internal monologue” or internal thoughts the character has. I finally figured out that the only “purpose” or reason for these internal monologues in our drafts is to figure out something at the same time the character is – sort of like when we yap to a friend about a problem because we are trying to sound it out, hear it out, figure it out. Most of this can GO. Delete. Get rid of it. Instead of writing along at this steady pace, punch it up! Instead of a long paragraph, or *gasp* page(s), of internal monologue, use action, or dialogue, or cut it down to a sentence or two. Do this throughout the manuscript and you’ve deleted thousands of bloaty words that weighed down your manuscript.

For a better, more comprehensive, explanation of internal monologue, see: The Do’s and Don’ts of Internal Monologue by K.M. Weiland

Don’t be afraid to stretch yourself a little in life.

A fit you; a fit manuscript.

Work-out Writer: Links for all y’allses . . . ’cause I care, yes I do

my workout buddy

I’ve been on marathon sessions for edits/rewrites of The Lightning Charmer – so my posts, which are already sporadic because I do what I want when I want cause I can, have been fewer. Who cares, right? Who has time to read a bunch of shit, right? riiighhht! Today, I’ve collected a few links for y’all – they’re all set to images with short blurbs beside them, so a quick and dirty read- check ‘em out and go kick the ass of the day!

Healthy Habits that may not be so great for you– maybe a few will surprise you? Like the notion of eating small meals throughout the day. Well, this can go oh so wrong if not done “properly” — if we overeat those small meals (watch portion control, y’all!), or eat crappy foods, this will not work. I’d love to eat small meals throughout the day, but when I’m busy, I don’t think about it. I usually have three meals plus one snack.

This just makes me laugh

Best and Worst Foods for your Sex Life – actually, for me, the less I eat and drink (especially alcohol), the better sex is. I laughed to myself when I saw in the link the word “men” – well, guess what? Women love sex, too.

The Germiest Places in your Gym – ewwwwww. I wipe the treadmill (or any other equipment, even the free weights) before and after I use them. I also take my own water bottle, already filled (I like a little peppermint flavoring added to my water- try it!), and I have my own mat to do my mat exercise work! I never use the gym’s mats.

Ten Weight Loss Myths – This site kind of bugged me with their “skip this ad” crap, but anyway. There are lots of myths and misconceptions out there. Educate yourself, but also learn what works and doesn’t work for your health and body. It’s not just about weight loss, but about feeling your best!

All right, back to work on TLC — later, y’all.

Work out Music of the day also happens to be what could be a great trailer for Lightning Charmer — if you take out the woman singing. The images, whether on the nose or metaphorical, are so close to the mood/tone/etc of TLC!

Work-out Writer: Are you giving up and giving in?

Keep your eye on the prize, y’all

There are times I’m doing my treadmill aerobic dance (flailing about in a jittery wild ass KAPOWIE not caring if I look like an idiot) and my heart rate climbs, I’m sweating, my legs beg me to stop, my breath is one big pant pant pant–but I don’t stop, not yet. I keep going until  the song is over–even the seven minute long techno music (previous post) that tries to kick my ass to Kingdom Come. I allow a little bit of a “cool down” to let my heart rate slow a bit, and then I HIT THAT THANG again–*sound of whip cracking across my ass. Oh it hurts soooo goooood.*

Is it easy? Hells-no. And that’s what makes it worthwhile. That’s what makes it heart-pumping YEEHAW! That’s what makes me feel on top of the world!

Goal accomplished, fit in the jeans, and found me some f**k me pumps WHUPOW!

Who the hell said things were supposed to be easy? Doing what’s difficult and kick-ass is what brings about results. Do you want results? What are they? Be specific:

I want to fit into a pair of skinny jeans and f**k me pumps and to be able to wear them with a fitted shirt without “muffin top” or belly bulge–and why couldn’t I do that in my fifties? What was stopping me from my goal? Not a goddamn thing but my own self thinking “But I’m 55!” So what? (of course, as I always tell you–you must see your doctor in case there are physical limitations); I want to feel better and what does “feel better” mean?– to be able to hike the mountains, be stronger well into my 60s 70s 80s and beyond, to have good blood pressure and pulse, for the doctor to say “You are in great shape, don’t come back until next year;” I want sexual power; I want to look good in my clothes, yes, but also for them to feel good on my body; I need help with stress (lawdy yes); etc etc etc.

Don’t just say, “I want to be in shape/be healthy.” What does that mean? I dunno. What does  ”in shape/be healthy” mean for you? The more specific you are with your goals, the more you will keep your eye on that “prize.” And the fewer times you can use excuses like, “I don’t wanna.” Yeah well, Get your ass to work anyway! Why? Cause I said so that’s why! What in hell are you waiting for? Miracles? Someone to take you by the hand and pull you there kicking and screaming? Ain’t you worth it? I know I am. So, in a month, six months, a year from now, will you be making the same goddamn excuses then as you are now? Uh huh. Check back in a month, six months, a year, and let’s see what you did with your time. Huhn.

I believe in you; so why don’t you believe in yourself?

Who cares if anyone is watching? Have fun.

I recognize that not everyone is going to love working out like I do–I am one of those people who actually looks forward to it and if I miss, I am not worth a crap.  But how do you know you won’t be like me? How do you know you won’t begin to enjoy. Show up. Do the work. Find your joy.

I feel this way about the writing, too. Until I don’t. Lawd. Then I look for the magic again until I find it.

Do you love what you do? Do you love yourself? Why not? Ask the hard questions and then find the answers.

Writers: this goes out to you, too. Sometimes this job is hard. Sometimes it kicks our ass but good. Are you gonna give up? Are you gonna stop when things are a little hard? Get your kickass on and stop whining and crying and carrying on about how difficult this business is. Shit, I know that–I’ve done my own crying and whining, until I decided I was sick of myself crying and whining. Instead, I went back to work. That’s what we do–we show up; we work hard; we don’t give up.

We aren’t always going to have exactly what we want from this business–but we can kick ass trying, y’all! We can do the best goddamn job we can and let the rest work itself out how it will. We can be proud of what we’ve accomplished–it isn’t all about what you may think it’s about. Maybe, just maybe, it really is all about the work, the thing that makes you show up every day, the thing that gives you joy, and all the rest is just icing on an already iced cake.

loitering through life ain’t allowed, all y’allses

When things are difficult, push on. You’ll learn when you truly have reached your “end,” where you know you can’t do or give any more than you are–and then maybe, just maybe, you can push it a little farther/further.

Work-out Music of the day: Benny Benassi – Satisfaction

Work-out Writer: Equipment from your local(or chain) hardware store? Why not . . . ?

a little stretch, and as well this helps strengthen my back if I hold this position with control

stretch up, and sit back – I will six back even more to strengthen legs/glutes

Writers sit a lot – too much. It’s what we do.  We need to move our bodies, strengthen and stretch them. It won’t be any easier as you age, so what are you waiting for? Work on that novel, story, essay, poem, fiddle on social networking, do your research, but please, y’all, take care of your bodies! I am 55 and while I am showing signs of aging that I can’t control, I take care of myself so that what I can control I do. Get up off that chair, or wherever it is you work, and MOVE!

With a little imagination and a couple-bucks (and that visit to the doctor you should do before starting an exercise program!), you can find ways to alter your workout, at the gym or in your own home. I bought this piece of tube at the local hardware store and use it in my workouts–for strengthening, stretching, and as well, you can roll it along your spine for a mini-massage (just do not roll on your lower back!).

Balance and control, you can go farther down with this (I often do) but be mindful

The tubing offers lower back support, if needed – notice I roll it up in the mat (I am going to glue matting to it for a permanent solution

I will also put a weight inside the tube and use that to do strengthening exercises, though in these photos I did not do that. Just be careful that you watch what you are doing, and exercise with control and your full attention.

Warm up for at least twenty minutes–I do an hour on the treadmill at varying degrees of mid-to-high intensity. Start off slowly, build to a frenzy, and then do a cool-down. While you are still warm, head to the mat to stretch and strengthen your body. Flexibility, endurance, and strength helps in the bedroom, too – just say’n, y’aaaaalllses!

work on flexibility – but make sure you are warmed up!

You can do the same moves without tubing

Music of the day for a high intensity cardio session — this version I do is a bit over seven minutes long, but there are shorter versions if you can’t keep up a high-intensity session for seven minutes. I’ll mix in some jogging with my jittery jumpy hopping flailing about when the music slows a bit.

Now! GO!

Ten ways Exercise Makes for Better Sex:

our bodies are wonderlands . . .

1)      When you feel better about your body, your confidence level rises. It’s that, “Yeah, you can look, because I’m taking care of myself. Let’s leave the lights on!”

2)      Endorphines do more than make you feel energetic and happy, they can also rev you up for sexual pleasure. The more of those endorphins you have racing through your body, the easier it is for you to be aroused, and to reach orgasm. Yeah. Endorphins give you that “runner’s high” but they also give you a sexual high. Would I lie to you?

position the ball between your feet and hold hold hold! squeeeeeze . . .

3)      Your strength and endurance rises as you grow stronger both aerobically and in muscle tone. Stronger muscles  gives you the strength to try different positions, to have the endurance to keep going until you reach your ultimate goal, or to, um, well, no way to say it but: thrust more energetically *teehee blushing* As well, strengthening your smaller muscles, the ones you can’t see, helps with sexual pleasure, orgasm, and for women, the ability to tighten and release for stronger orgasms. Ready to hit the gym yet?

Ka-POW!

4)      Regular exercise keeps you and your body and all its wonders working better well into your old-agedom. Good sex isn’t just for the young. Keeping fit in the gym will keep you happier in the bedroom. There’s no reason why you can’t be having better and stronger orgasms even in your 50s, 60s – 70s? I ain’t lying!

5)      If you are regularly exercising, you probably are having more sex. Why? Cause you feel great. Cause you feel powerful. Cause you feel better about your body. Cause you have more control. Cause it keeps you fit and young and raring to go in all areas of your life and that includes the bedroom. Cause exercise means you care about yourself. Cause you are hyperaware of your body and how wonderful and beautiful and powerful it is, and what you can do with that body and how much pleasure you can bring to someone else, and to yourself.

kiss . . .

6)      Exercise sends blood flow to all the yummy places. Do I need to spell that one out? Naw.

7)      The act of sex itself burns calories. So you burn calories at the gym, then you burn calories in the bedroom, then you start to notice your clothes fit better; you’re developing a bit of a strut; you’re feeling sexy, alive, powerful.

stoke the fire . ..

8)      Though this has never happened to me—and I can’t decide if that’s a good thing or not—there are reports of women having core-gasms. Yup. Orgasms during certain exercises. Huhn. Well I’ll be. Dang!

9)      It’s possible for testosterone to be released during exercise—and testosterone isn’t just for men, y’all. Testosterone increases sexual Want. But, as well, exercises also may help to keep our hormones on a more even keel, and the better we feel, well, the better our lives are, and again, that includes bedroom activity.

10)   Exercise lowers stress. If we’re stressed out, then the last thing we may want is sex. Exercise is a great way to lower those stress levels to make us feel more open to sex with our partners, or, well, all by our lonesome—wheeeeeeee!

So, get yourself to the gym, or if you prefer, work out at home. You’ll feel great, and your sexual health/life/ energy will greatly improve. I promise.

Work-Out Writer “tip” of the day . . . Form, y’all

Sampling of Today’s Work-out Soundtrack (and I can see my friends’ raised eyebrows at the choices, since they know I crush on some Arcade Fire, Mumford & Sons, Broken Bells, MGMT, etc, but there ain’t nuttin’ like Pop and Techno to get me jumping round on that treadmill!): Sandstorm, 50 Techno Trance Anthems; Satisfaction, Benny Benassi & the Biz; Sparks (Turn Off Your Mind) Fedde Le Grand/Nicky Romero;  I’m Sexy & I Know It,  LMBFAO (makes me laugh).

abs tight, glutes tight, hold your balance, feel strong

Fitness Tip: Good posture – your form – is as important in your work-out as the work-out itself. Without proper form, you may set yourself up for injury, and as well, you are not doing the exercise correctly and in the best possible way for optimal benefit. Don’t think of “good posture” as some kind of ATTENTION! military-like snap-to, but instead, stand with feet slightly apart, eyes forward, chin lifted, arms at your sides. Gently lift your chest, as if a light string is attached to your upper chest to the ceiling holding your chest gently up, and let your shoulders gently and naturally fall back –that string attached to the ceiling is gently pulling up your upper chest and your shoulders naturally fall back: do you see? Breathe in and fill your chest and when you exhale pull your abs in — try to keep your abs tight but do not hold your breath. As you grow stronger, you will be able to hold in your abs naturally. When you exercise, you keep that basic posture of chest up, shoulders back, abs strong, eyes forward, chin lifted. Breathe in on the easy part of your exercise move, and exhale (pulling in abs) on the difficult part. It helps to count aloud as it forces you to think about breathing. The stronger you are, the more you practice good form, the more instinctively it comes to you.

Oh how I love thee Strunk & White

Writing tip: The more you learn the basic “forms” of your manuscript, the easier your edits will be. As in: one period after punctuation, each character’s dialogue as its own paragraph, be aware of relying on too many adjectives/adverbs, etc etc etc. The more you write, the stronger your writing will be, and the more you will instinctively write even your “shitty rough drafts” in proper form. I love breaking rules where appropriate, but I had to learn the rules first–do your research, there are plenty of books out there to help you–and learn all you can about punctuation, voice, POV, etc. You’ll be so glad you did when edit time comes–and your editor will love you for it, too!

Later y’all.

There’s more to life than first apparent

Work-out Writer: Do you give up if results don’t come to you quickly? Well, dang it, stop it!

Samplings of today’s work-out soundtrack: Everybody Talks, Neon Trees; What Does Tomorrow Bring (Extended Mix), Starkillers & Richard Beynon; Let Me Love You (Until You Learn to Love Yourself), Ne-Yo; Hey (Nah Neh Nah), Milk & Sugar & Vaya Con Dios; Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You), Kelly Clarkson

But I don’t wanna! Well do it anyway! Huhn.

Fitness does not happen over-night. Yeah, yeah, you say, I know that. *eye-roll* DUH, Kathryn.  Well then, smart-ass, why do I see people giving up so easily when they don’t see the results they want after just a few workouts/meal plan changes? Over and over again I see this happen. People want results and they want them in a hurry. Well, guess what? All those layers of bad habits crept up on you a little at a time, so the changing will have to come with time and work and sacrifice/discipline. Time and Work and Sacrifice/Discipline. Time and Work and Sacrifice/Discipline. Time and Work and Sacrifice/Discipline. Time and Work and Sacrifice/Discipline. Is that in your head yet? Time  . . .  Work . . . Sacrifice/Discipline.

Yeah, I’m sexy and I know it . . .

You start with what you have and you work to make that the best you are able to with time, work, sacrifice/discipline: best heart/lung–cardio—condition, best muscular/skeletal condition, best endurance, best strength, best whatever it is you want—or all of the above. This isn’t about turning yourself into someone you see in Hollowweird. This isn’t about looking like, or working out like, your best friend-brother-sister-neighbor-someone you see at the gym; this is about doing and being the best YOU. And it is about not giving up and giving in when the going is difficult, or when the results you desire do not come to you as quickly as you imagined. For those who stay the course, they are rewarded–this I can guarantee.

But what’s on the other side of this sign? Another path – yup.

Sometimes it does seem as if nothing is happening to our bodies even when we work hard. Folks, I promise you that things ARE happening! You must be patient, you must keep working towards your goals, you must not give up and give in! You must show your body/mind that you mean business so it will be open to change instead of trying for homeostasis, the status quo. For example, I’d often hear clients lament: “I’ve been working out and eating better for two weeks and I look the same! I’m so frustrated I just want to give up!” Well, keep going, I’d tell them. Do Not Stop. Because the reward does come. Our bodies work in mysterious and wondrous ways, and not always in the way we expect them to. But please believe me when I say: if you are truly working out and eating healthfully; if you are truly making healthful changes to your life-style, then it WILL show, the change will come, guaranteed. It is science, biology–we are beautiful biological machines.

I have my eye on you . . .

Don’t work out and eat healthfully for someone else. Yes, this may motivate you in the beginning, but you will feel resentment flash up and ponk you on your head until you are dizzy and pissed off. You must do this for you. Aren’t you worth it? Hmmm? Of course you are! Although I will add that becoming healthy for your children’s/grandchildren’s sake is something to consider. Besides, do you want your children/grandchildren to have to look after your old tired unhealthy ass because you didn’t take care of yourself? *giving you the personal trainer evil-eye*

follow the road and see where it takes you

So, there you are where you are, whatever the case may be. You find a reasonable starting goal and you work towards it, and when that goal is achieved, you find another one, and another one, and you keep building on those goals. The results will come, but they come at a price, and that price is hard work and time and sacrifice/discipline. Stop expecting change to come so quickly; stop expecting the “end result” to come without the work, for when you do not allow yourself to climb up the fitness ladder a rung at a time, you set yourself up for Half-Ass. Isn’t Kick-Ass better than Half-Ass? I think so.

And you writers out there — near-bouts every work-out post I write has a message for writers in it–as does this one.

It’s the same concept with your manuscript. A good novel/story does not come from rushing through it with the desire to “get it out there as quickly as possible.” That “shitty rough draft” deserves time and work and sacrifice/discipline. Start with what you have and build on that. Write it, and then edit edit edit, until you have a Kick-Ass story/novel, instead of a Half-Ass story/novel. What’s your rush? Slow down. Don’t expect the end result–something you’ll be proud to have your name on–to come to you easily and quickly. Give it the attention it deserves. One rung at a time.

————————————————-

Work-out tip of the day: If you aren’t listening to music while you work out – please do try it! The tempo keeps you going, the music distracts you, it puts you in a great mood, and motivates you to work harder.  There are iPods and iPod Shuffles (the small iPod Nano), and if you do not want to invest in that, there are all kinds of MP3 players out there. Load ‘em up with energetic music and Have Fun!

Professor Dawg says, “Woof!” – that means, write it all good and all, y’allses

Writing tip of the day: Do you really need to write “started to” . . . ? It started to rain; she started to cry; he started to run—you could just have the action itself: It rained; she cried; he ran.

Later y’all.

Work-out Writer: Muh-muh-muh-muh-my Persona(s)–The Bionic (writer) Woman

finding strength

Three times a week I put on my work-out clothes, take my gym bag of goodies, and head out to Waynesville Recreation Center, whereupon I put on my running shoes, climb upon a treadmill, and work my ass off—running, skipping, jumping, flailing, hopping, and jitterying about. The music is blaring in my ears (which is a joy, for I don’t have a chance to listen to music as much as I’d like). I am facing forward, seemingly in my own world as I do what gives me great pleasure—

I thought I was an island of me, until people began to approach me. GMR calls them my “fans” and it makes me laugh, the sorta-kinda-irony of it being I am more well-known in that gym than I am as an author here in my little town, or at least it seems that way. Even outside the gym, I am stopped and told, “Hey! You’re that woman in the gym! The one on the treadmill!” I don’t mind. What makes me happy about it are the things they tell me—that I’m a bionic woman, superwoman, that I have so much energy, that I am—and this one really makes me happy—an inspiration to them to work harder. When I am gone away from the gym when I travel, they seem to miss me, asking about me, asking where I’ve been. I feel missed. I feel thought about. I feel substantial. When I’ve worked extra extra hard, they notice: “You sure tore it up today! That treadmill must be broken!” I grin at them and say, “I sure did, didn’t I?” What they don’t know is how they are inspiring me to work harder–because they notice, because they see me, because I don’t want to let them down. I want to be the person they think I am. I want to be better and better and better.

Far as I know, none of them know I am an author. They all know me as “that bionic woman on the treadmill.” It’s a persona I have come to love.  Those who see me on that treadmill, and then on the matt-work afterwards, see my dedication, my passion, my energy, my love for what I do. They see how hard I work, how I kick-ass and then give a little more, and then more, until I have no more to give, and then I try to push just a tiny bit more. They see me sweat, hair flying, body tensing and releasing over and over, the explosive action of my plyometric movements, the intensity of the workout. They see all of this because it is right there in front of them.

If only my readers could see me as I create—see the outside and the inside of me, the workings of me. For my writing is manifested in the same kind of way—through energy and love and passion and hard work and kicking ass and then giving just a little more and a little more until I am exhausted but happy, happy danged ole happy, and then I push a tiny bit more. They could see me staring ahead at my screen, fingers flying over the keyboard, my brain filled with activity—tensing and releasing as my synaptic firing flings words and characters and setting onto the page. All for you.  But you cannot see that, my dear readers. Unlike my “fans” at the gym, I sit alone, out of your sight, working so very hard for you. What you do not know, just as the “gym-fans” do not, is that you are also inspiring me to work harder–because I don’t want to let you all down. I want to be the person you think I am, and more. I want to be better and better and better. I want to give you joy when you read my offerings. I want to make you think, and laugh, and cry, and wonder, and wander, and I want you to ask for more from me and of me–because I have more to give, so much more.

our bodies are wonderlands . . .

Because I love it. I am passionate about the writing, my books, my words, the language, just as I am about being fit and healthy and strong. I want to make you happy. I want to make you proud of me. I want to inspire you. I want to be known as the Bionic Woman of writing. I want you to miss me when I am not around.

When you pick up one of my books and read, imagine me—metaphorical sweat dripping, hair flying, body tensing and releasing over and over, the explosive action of my plyometric movements, the intensity of my workout. The passion. The love.

For you.

Our minds are wonderlands

The work-out persona and the writer persona are so very much the same.

Naw, the gym ain’t no charity–so stop donating to it! But, join a gym wisely.

Being on the road is nice, but too much of it pretty much sucks :D

Hi Y’allses! Did you enjoy your holidays? I did–had a wonderful time in Oregon with my little Oregon family. However, with a few exceptions (like my little Oregon family), I can say with sincere LAWDYNESS that I am sick of traveling. Enough. Yup, good to be home now, and after extensive travel over the past 14 months, I am ready to spend quite a long time in my little Smoky Mountain cove finishing up my new novel The Lightning Charmer, rocking on the porch (less’n it’s too cold, which it is right now), taking mountain walks, and kickin up my heels on the gym’s treadmill. Yup, y’all, I am one of those people who love love love to exercise–it was part of what made me a good trainer. Same as I love love love to write, which makes me a pretty good book writer, too, I think!

Gyms make money on Sales, so they want to impress/entice you in–but be sure to look in the nooks and crannies of the gym and the contract: When I worked as a personal trainer at a gym, January/February were our busiest months, and so sometimes we trainers had to help with “sales.” I hated “sales” because, as many of you may know, I have a hard time “selling” things, even if I believe in them!—e-yup, I also sucketh at promo and marketing and salesmanship of my novels. Lawdy.

ask questions about the trainers at the gym, ask to meet them and talk to them first

So, during those busy “sales days,” we trainers, and other gym staff, would tour unsuspecting prospective victims clients about the gym while touting the wonderful exceptional qualities of gym and staff–some things we were told to say bordered on “not quite as wonderful as said.” Well, I was always honest/truthful, even if it meant I would not make that sale and would not make any extra money, but that’s just how I rawk-n-roll. Listen to the “spiel” but look carefully about the gym and ask as many questions as you need to: Is the gym clean, and do they regularly clean the equipment? Is the whirlpool/jacuzzi cleaned properly, drained, sanitized, and re-filled regularly, etc.? Is the equipment in good shape? Do the staff seem upbeat, excited to have you there? Is the contract easy to understand? Do they offer a few free weeks you can take advantage of? What kind of classes are offered and are they included in the contract? Etc etc!

Gyms take in monthly contract sales whether you and you and you and you attend the gym or not, and even sometimes over-book because of the “donations” concept, so why just “give” them your money? GO!: Sometimes I’d hear the salespeople talk about “donations/donators.” Yeah. Those are the people who are all gungo-ho’d to join a gym and work they’s asses off after the holidays (or before a wedding, or a reunion, or whatever the event may be), and after about a month, or when the event is over, their happy asses quit going to the gym—and since they signed a contract for a year, la tee dah, all they’s butts are doing is making a donation every month. It’s difficult to worm your way out of a contract, folkses, so think twice before signing your name to a binding document.

Most Gyms will work with you, for they want/need your business: What I would suggest to potential clients of the gym was to sign up for a shorter contract—say three months. Yes, it was not as good of a deal, but three months was, and is, a good amount of time to see if you’ll be consistent in your gym-going. Then, if you are consistent and want to continue, work with the gym for a better contract–believe me, folks, all gyms WANT and many NEED your business, so you can ask them to give you a good deal or you walk–just be reasonable, for after all, it is a business where people/bills have to be paid, too.

well, huhn!

Ask about free personal trainers, and use them, but ask about their experience: When you sign up at a gym, take advantage of the (usually a few sessions only) free personal training service, if it is offered. Do, however, ask them what kind of experience the gym trainers have. More education does not necessarily mean a great trainer, but they should be certified by a reputable agency (you can do your research), and what they say to you when you talk with them should make sense to you, and fit your personal goals. Of course, if your personal goal is to sit on your ass, well, no reputable trainer would say, “Sure dude! I can work you out on your couch! Just show me the money.” Haw. Lawd no.

Gyms should offer, at the least, a trainer/staff to show you how to use the equipment properly: You simply must know how to work that gym equipment properly, with proper form, to effectively, and safely, work out. Don’t think you are “bothering” the trainers, for that’s what they are there for. And, if they are worth a dang, they will enjoy showing you what to do—I used to love the busy times, because I hated standing around twiddling my thumbs. I loved training, and when someone wanted me to help them, I did it gladly and with passion, and for free. I had clients who paid me to work with them, but that was separate from the help I gave to clients on the gym floor. Take advantage of trainers who are walking about the gym. If they do not have trainers on the floor, then ask a staff person to provide someone to answer questions/help you with equipment. If there is no one available, maybe another gym is in order? However, don’t try to wheedle free hour-long sessions from a trainer, y’all, now! Dang!

You don’t have to say “no, never” to this kind of thing, but you CAN say, “Hardly ever, only occasionally”

Don’t burn up and burn out: One of the worst things you can do is to go in that gym all fired up and jumping around and slamming your fist in the air and Doing Too Much until you burn out and drop out. I saw it, and I see it, time and time again. That fired up WANT to be in shape and/or lose weight. The person will go to the gym every day, stay for far longer than they should, eating little food and/or foods that have

An apple a day may be a cliche, but it is solid advice–it just may keep the doc away, uh huh

no taste because they think that’s the best way to lose weight. Dial it back a little and give yourself time to be used to the new load you are placing on your body with exercise—if you are too sore to work out, or have a stress-injury, you will not be able to continue your work out safely and effectively until you feel better. If you eat foods you hate, you won’t keep up with your new eating plan. Take time to think things through with a well-thought out plan for a reasonable exercise routine that you can slowly build on. Take time to think about meals that are tasty but healthy that you will reasonably fit into your daily meal-times. Don’t be unrealistic, but DO challenge yourself to try new foods/workouts!

Do your research to find a gym/trainer that/who fits: Now, get out there and do some research. Find a gym that fits you. If you hate gyms, then I’m not talking to you in this post—although, I will say to you who hate gyms: Why? If it’s the money, fine, I can understand that, and perhaps you can talk to a gym about some kind of reasonable contract. But if it’s because you become a “donator,” then consider altering your thoughts and routines at the gym—and consider trying out the gym for a shorter contract time, or a gym that offers month-to-month without contracts–although, you could use that contract as a motivator–”I’m going because I simply will not throw away my money for nothing!” YEAH!

Now, go ye and be healthy and kick-ass! I’m here for you if you have any questions–about working out, or about writing!