I am about to Scream….gawd I’m tired.

My Gawd! Is it Saturday already? Where have I been? I have been so busy, I am about to scream. And to add to the frustration, which I know I should be used to but I can never be used to, it is taking forever to hear back from several places about some of my work – and that’s all I can say, since I have learned my lesson about telling people, "Oh! Guess what! this may be happening!" and then it doesn’t happen and I have to hear, "Hey, what happened with so and so?" and I have to answer, "Oh, it fell through/didn’t workout/I decided it wasn’t good for me/we couldn’t work out terms we both liked, etc."
 
I’ve not been on my regular schedule as much, and I’ve missed writing Clementine, even though a really great thought bonked me upside the head the other day and I hope I didn’t lose it; I hope it comes back-although sometimes they do not (and yes, I maybe should write them down, but if I write them down, all I do is lose them and then find them later and think, "what does that say? mriere? irhsiej? batase? skue slurs rhsoure urhsiehen slslsue? yep, can’t read my own writing).
 
So, today, since I was tagged by Reduce Your Footprints (who I sometimes link for "green living" tips) and I am bad bad about tagging back, I will put the Tag thingee on here.
 
Here are 8 things about me:
  1. I love Cheerios.
  2. This morning on the mountain walk, I saw blood on a leaf and thought, "Oh, some critter was hurt, or killed for supper." I picked up the leaf and studied it, wondering what animal left the blood. Then! Suddenly! I thought, "what if this is human blood? And I know it’s not mine or my kin! Eyewwwww!" I threw down the leaf and even though I didn’t touch the blood, I began wiping my hands in disgust. Soooooo, it was okay if it was critter blood, but it was disgusting if it was stranger human blood. Huhn.
  3. I ached over my Kayla girl being gone this morning, knowing she wasn’t by my side. The walk felt sad.
  4. I used to dream about the end of the world all the time – Once long ago, I dreamed I was in a complete white space with nothing all around me-nothing-I mean NOTHING except me standing in white space.
  5. Until my Virginia Kate is published, I will never feel Complete. It is a missing piece to my life puzzle.
  6. Looking out my window as I write this, there is a big fat ugly mean wonderful beautiful great awesome fantastic raging blackish grayish boiling cloud forming over the mountains, as if some great beast is settling down — we need rain. Come on rain-filled beast, unleash.
  7. When I touch trees, sometimes I hear stories – the tree breathes and lives and has seen many things and it thrums a message against my hands.
  8. Whenever I write things that have themes of "about me" I get really nervous I’ll say something I wished I wouldn’t, so I look back over the list: Cheerios (okay), blood on leaf (okay), sad over losing my best buddy dog (okay), not crying and control (that may have to come out and if it does, number 4 will say something else), VK publishing (okay), cloud over mountains (okay), trees and stories (a little weird, but okay).

And there you are, my tagged task is complete, except for the actual tagging of someone else.

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Green Rant of the Day: Just as we sometimes fill our bodies with garbage, we also fill our space here on Earth with garbage. I’ve never seen so much garbage we humans can create! Everything is in big-ass packages – why do we need all that packaging? Good lord, the other day I went to CVS to buy something, and I picked it up, and the packaging was as big as my head, but the product was half that size or less. I picked up a face cream in a box, opened the box and looked inside – the face cream was this tiny thing and the box was twice or more its size. Do they think they are fooling us to think we are getting more product? What’s the deal? Just more and more garbage to worry about in landfills and everywhere else.  I notice a lot of these "throw away" cleaning items, too…use it once, then toss it, use it once then toss it, use it once then toss it, use it once then toss it, use it once then toss it, use it once then toss it, use it once, then toss it, use it once then toss it, use it once then toss it, use it once then toss it, use it once then toss it, use it once then toss it, use it once, then toss it, use it once then toss it, use it once then toss it, use it once then toss it, use it once then toss it, use it once then toss it, use it once, then toss it, use it once then toss it, use it once then toss it, use it once then toss it, use it once then toss it, use it once then toss it, use it once, then toss it, use it once then toss it, use it once then toss it, use it once then toss it, use it once then toss it, use it once then toss it, .use it once, then toss it, use it once then toss it, use it once then toss it, use it once then toss it, use it once then toss it, use it once then toss it, use it once, then toss it, use it once then toss it, use it once then toss it, use it once then toss it, use it once then toss it, use it once then toss it …

Healthy Living Rant of the Day: If you do not care about your family/friends enough to take care of yourself, then maybe you best prepare them now for the possibility you’ll not be there for them later on. So, if you are a Human Garbage Can, filling your body with unhealthy food and other unhealthy habits with the excuse "This is all I like to eat and I don’t have time to cook and I am tired so I stop at Fast Food Place and I don’t care what you think this is my life and I’ll live it how I want and who are you to tell me anyway and besides I hate that kind of good for you stuff…," sitting around and not getting any exercise, stressed at your job without any outlet, not getting enough rest, etc, then go tell your friends/spouse/kids there is a possibility you won’t live as long as you could, and to boot, you won’t have the energy to do things with them, so they’ll have to figure out things on their own. Sorry kids, Mommy/Daddy can’t play with you – too tired. Sorry friend/spouse, I don’t feel like doing a thing but sitting my ass on the couch and watching television; I’m just pooped! Sorry Life, you are such a strain on me, I’ve decided I don’t care if I leave you a few years earlier than I could if I changed a few of my habits! If you feel like shit, then maybe it’s time to take stock of why you feel like shit. The things we have no control over – truly have no control over – those things we learn to deal with the best we can; however, the things for which we DO have control over and we choose not to, well, then whatever we receive back from those things is what we have brought to ourselves. We have Choices and we do not always allow ourselves the freedom to make those choices – instead, we justify and make excuses. What will today bring? A choice at a time? Up to you, more than you think there is more up to you.

Writer’s/Editor’s Rant of the Day: I hate when a writer cheats. "Cheating" means different things to me, but I know it when I read it. It’s lazy and it’s cheating and it makes me irritated. I know how hard I work to get my novels "right." Doesn’t mean I won’t make a mistake or overlook something – that can happen to any and all writers; however, it won’t be because I didn’t work me arse off making sure my details are straight, and I can tell when an author works and is proud of their work–I can feel their sincerity, too, or when they just flopped something out to get it done and out there. Sometimes I get to the end and am cheated; sometimes I’m cheated throughout the book – whatever the case may be, it makes me want to smack the author’s photo.  Lazy writers, or writers who "try to get away with something because it is easier than doing more work (which is still lazy I guess)," writers who leave loose ends and just jam the book out to be done with it. Cheating. I read a book where the author wrote in the back, "Oh, I know that this wasn’t invented in the timespan of my book, and that event didn’t happen during the time span of my book, but I used those things anyway, because I needed to to make this and that work out…" Cheat! I wanted to manipulate time and circumstance at times with my novels – but, it is cheating, so even though it would have made my writing life easier, I had to let it go.

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6 thoughts on “I am about to Scream….gawd I’m tired.

  1. Oh … here you are so tired and … you\’ve got this silly "tagged" game to consider.  I learned a couple of things by playing this game:  1) It is hard to come up with things that one is willing to share with others (we bloggers are rather a private people, I think) and 2) It might be best to ask people if they want to play along before tagging them (and I apologize for tossing this one on you).  :(That being said … I enjoyed your list, especially #7.  I\’ve always thought that trees talk and I hug them … literally.  It is fascinating to me that these huge, lovely trees have lived, in some cases, for hundreds of years.  Oh the things that they have seen and the stories they can tell … if we just listen.I hope you have a restful weekend.Small Footprints

  2. Hi Katherine, I enjoyed reading your eight things! I think that your BFUMWBGAFRGBG cloud
    has settled over Ohio, it`s been pouring for the last two or three hours.
    I still ache over my pets I`ve lost, and it`s been over five years since I lost my first.
    And I`m totally with you on number eight, I do that too. Have a great, hopefully rainy weekend : )

  3. I\’m a simple person as you knowLOL! I enjoyed reading your entry 
    #2 I hope you don find that likes a bloods in anywhere?  
    #4 you must has been a complete asleeps in dreamland?
    $6 More rain welcome in here.
    #7 I don\’t have a magics trees in here …when I touch trees just silence not said word..you wondering why?LOL!
    #8 I do that to and re write and still not right in my case that is normal way to me ha ha ha
    Have a great weekend,
    Michiko

  4. Thanks for sharing all these things about you. I try not to assume that what a fiction writer sets on paper is the reflection of who they are :-) Be well,
    J.

  5. I don\’t like writers who cheat, either.  Sometimes that might just mean that I don\’t like how they begin to set up the plot, and sometimes it is simply idiosyncratic to me, and sometimes it might mean that I have no idea how or what the author was trying to accomplish.  I have been known to pitch a book after reading three pages when reading one I don\’t care for.  (Not very far though.  I am a packrat after all.)  Have a good … Sunday.  It\’s just past midnight here.Peace, Doc

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