Photographs and brain-memories…

Voting is over! More Than Just A Mother will receive the copy of Paulo Coelho’s BRIDA. Thanks everyone – it was so much fun and I was honored to have your words on my blog – beautifully done…Brava All!

Nothing remains static. The world turns with all our energies both expelled and absorbed from pre-beginning to after-end; we become a part of a greater energy. Everything is pulsating, a part of each other. So how could something so dynamic not change and morph? Even require it. There is The Good Change, and there is The Bad Change. And then there are the snapshots filed away in drawers, albums, and the parts of the brain made just for remembrance.

I have this brain-snapshot shouting loud. It comes uncalled and unbidden, but it comes. It is winter, and the snow is falling, blanketing an already white-washed world. The backdrop is sepia-toned, shades of black and white with that tinge of old-timey photograph brown. I am dressed warm, and by my side are my husband and my two dogs. We’re on the Muse Trail, Level Two. I have my camera and I’ve set it to video and as I turn 360 degrees, I say, “Isn’t this lovely? Isn’t this the best life ever? Don’t you wish you were me?” My dogs, off their leashes, run in the snow, their paws kicking up sprays of snow and arcs of ice that hover for just a moment before falling back down to earth; some catch prisms. The branches are laden with snow and some hang heavy, ready to smack a head and sent showers of cold upon them. We walk in the most perfect silence ever: you know the silence? The one that muffles footsteps, but makes bird calls ring so clear through the air that you hear it in perfect pitch. Changes came that make the memory one I am grateful for, even as I wish for the day back, Human that I am. Yet, would the memory stand in such sharp gorgeous relief if the changes had not altered it beyond repair? No. I’d have taken it for granted, knowing I could have that feeling over and over again. That Perfect Day has become one I feel the most profound sense of gratitude for. I miss my old dog – my old girl, Kayla. Simple and as complicated as that.


14 thoughts on “Photographs and brain-memories…

  1. This made me miss my childhood friend Sassy. I try not to think about the day I won’t have Tasha (and all her neuroses) anymore. I’m conflicted about the fact that life isn’t static–I know it’s actually a good thing, but does it have to go so fast??This was beautiful, Kat. It made me thoughtful, and that’s good.

  2. i love your words- you touch my heart- thank you, from one Labrador Mother to another xxI have a poodle too- but he is beyond description- just ask him !!

  3. Really gorgeous writing. I know the sneak-up-on-you longing for a long dead beloved pet. The kind that has the power to knock your feet right out from under. Your Kayla was a cutie!

  4. We had our dog to the vet today with what we thought was going to be a serious illness. She is only 3 and the test revealed liver problems. I stayed calm and remained thankful for her life. By the end of the day the rest of the tests were normal so although not conclusive may in fact be okay. We would love to have her around many more years. We lost our other bichon of 10 years 3 years ago and are not ready to lose another pet right now. I guess one never is. It did run through my mind if we lost her, would be get another one? I would have to say yes, the love exchange with an animal is heals the soul.

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