Then (*Thunderous Music!*) came the morning when the Queen looked upon her larder in the Frigidaire, and noticed there were no more greens!, there was no more grapefruit juice!, and on the royal counter, there were no more apples!, and in the most high royal pantry, there were no more Special Granola! and Cocoa Pebbles (pronounced Ka-Koah Pebblees)! and Dark chocolate with Almonds! The Queen, in a panic, summoned her minions, “Minions, ho!,” but realized she had no minions to ho, just two near-to-chubby lazy dogs who, by the way, were almost out of their royal pain dog food!
Oh, but the Queen fretted and moaned and gnashed her teeth. Where did these wondrous and nutritional items come from if not from minions?, she pouted. Surely they did not just appear out of the misty mountain air?, she poodled. The Queen then flopped her quite-shapely-for-her-age-if-she-says-so-herself-and-she-does rump upon her stately throne and thought and thought, and the thoughts became more thoughts, and those thoughts went off into tangents of thoughts until her brain squeezed and she had to blink and give her head a shake and pronounce, “Where were art I?”
“Oh, Oh, whatever will I do?” The Queen sobb-ed. The Queen pondered and pontificated and gasped and ballyhooed. She paced the little log royal castle, wringing her royal hands. Then! (*Hopeful Rising Music!*) it came to her, how these things suddenly appeared to the royal homestead. The King! Yes! The King went to the village and pillaged the Ingles Supermarket and brought forth his bounty for the Queen’s enjoyment so the Queen never had to leave her mountaintop.
(a version of this was in our YOG blog originally)