Last night when I was doing this silly dance to some commercial’s music, I thought how if someone followed me around with a camera every day, America would see just how weird I am. Then I thought, well maybe most of us are a little weird or a lot weird or somewhere in between. I told GMR, “When I first met you I wouldn’t have danced like this (or whatever else I do or did or will do) because you’d think I was weird or nuts – so I let my crazy out of the sack a little at a time so you’d not run off screaming…” He just laughed, probably because he was thinking about his own stuff HE let out of his own bag a little at a time. Huhn.
There was an episode of SCRUBS about that, too – when the Janitor began telling his girlfriend alllllll about himself, and Carla stopped him then later told him to let his crazy out a little at a time so the girlfriend doesn’t freak out. Made me laugh – made me think of . . . well, me! haw! whoop whoop!
I try to fit myself to situations, and I also try to be myself, but being myself could mean many things according to my mood or how overwhelmed by people I am or whatever–according to how much of my crazy is out of the sack that day or if the sack has contained most of my crazy.
This isn’t crazy–um, not by my standards anyway, *laugh* – but, here’s an example of Me and then other Me:
I met some friends/colleagues for dinner. One of the women I hadn’t seen for a long time looked at me across the table, smiling away, and asked me, “So, tell us how is it going? You have another book out, right? Tell us all about it . . . come on, fill us in!” She was excited for me. And what did Kat do/say? My innards just sighed. I felt so very tired. I just mumbled something about how yes SG was now out and Sweetie would be out soon and it was all going fine. Then I shut up. Nothing else wanted to come out of my mouth. I actually just signed and looked down at the table, then across the room, then into my wine glass, then drifted off somewhere la l a la la tee dahhhhhh. She looked at me with expectation, with puzzlement, but all I could do was smile feebly and shrug and say, “I’m feeling a bit tired.” I was – I’d just returned from the SIBA conference and I’d had it up to my eyeballs with people and writing and books and authors and talking about it all or, really, mostly listening to other authors as I walked around in a daze. And I won’t even talk about the auction and how difficult it was to chat up a stranger who “won” me . . . lawd!
Now, flash forward to my trip to Oregon when I met the wonderful and beautiful Deb Shucka (Oh! Lucky me! she’s marvelous!). I was feeling happy and upbeat and energetic and slightly hyper (okay, a lot hyper!). When we met, we hugged and smiled and while waiting for another blogger/FB friend (we never did see her–somehow we missed each other), I tried to reign in my crazy. But by time we had our coffee/chai tea, I was near bursting out of my skin. Maybe because I’d been with Little Boop and not writing or corresponding or whatever and had all kinds of words backed up. Maybe I’d had too much coffee. Maybe it was just my crazy spilling out of that sack. But I talked and laughed and carried on doodley doo dah day! I don’t remember nary a word of what I said except a couple of disjointed sentences – haw!
If someone had been watching footage of both those Kats, they’d wonder which was the “real me,” when both are the real me. You never know which Kat will show up — the quiet one, the shy one, the jittery wild one, the chatty-kathy one, the weary one, the wise one, the surprised one. I’m like one of those weird dolls they sell that you turn their head to change their mood and expression – haw! And those Kats can show up all at the same party on the same night, even – yup. Teeheeheeheehee.
There’s more I can say about my crazy and the sack I try to keep it in, but I see I’m in my Babbling Phase, so I will reign myself in . . . yes. The post I had in mind about this was completely side-tracked by babbling – which is par for the crazy course . . . dang.
I’m off my MWF schedule, but will get back to that soon. Tomorrow the 10th I will be back at The Tartitude’s place for Part II of the interview. There will be another give-away. Come by, say hi, ask a question, or just wave at me. If you aren’t following The Tartitude, please do! She’s brilliant and funny and kind.
Also, I’ll be at Blue Ridge Books & News on Main Street Waynesville this Saturday at 4:00 for Sweetie release “party” -there will be Jambalaya made by “Chef” GMR, and it is also a charity event for Share the Warmth. Above is a pendant image Bellebooks made that we hope to have those there as part of the event–they used part of the cover. Nice–fits with the charity event very well.