Of Pratfalls, Dream-state Driving, and Embarrassing Moments

18 Oct

In states of exhaustion and worry/stress, the oddest things can happen. Like, driving to the hospital and once parked, thinking, “How did I get here? Did I drive? Oh, I must have, since I am in the driver’s seat and my hands are upon the wheel. Oh, lawd.” Which is why you should look at one driver out of, say, fifty, and wonder just how exhausted they are and stressed/worried and if they even know they are driving their car—scary huh?

Other things happen, too. Like pratfalls, except they aren’t funny until after one realizes one isn’t broken and bloody but only bruised. I took one of those while stopping by my dad’s house on a dark evening. Hands full of something or other, I tripped over the one short step and went flying. Now, when one goes flying towards the unknown, it’s crazy the amount of time one has to think things: “Am I going to die?/Am I going to break every bone in my body?/I haven’t seen the latest episode of Modern Family so I can’t go into a coma and good thing I have on my cute undies, just in case, and I should have eaten that Snickers bar because I’ll now be in a coma and somewhere in some dream-state I’ll wish I had a Snickers bar . . .” KABLAM! Pavement & Metal Table Contact—slammed knee to pavement/chest to metal table—UNGH! I heard the gasp from my sis-in-law, and as I lay there, I assessed the damage: Not bad. So I laugh, hysterically and belly-full laughing, while saying, “Omg, this huuurrts! Oww, hahahaha, hahaha, OWWW, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OHHHOWWIE! GUFFAW!” Huhn. Later I ate a Snickers bar and savored every bite with my still intact-teeth.

Embarrassing things happen, too. Things that you don’t want to tell ANYONE, but since you are me, you laugh and snort and tell your family, who tells other people because you say, “Did you tell them what happened to me? Hahahhahahahaha!” and those tell others, and then you figure what the heck, so you write it on a blog where great numbers of people will know. Ha. So, I’m in a hurry to go to the hospital and I run into my brother’s bathroom first, toss down my jeans (no delicate way to write this, you know, folks), and as I’m, um, “teetling” I think, “Something doesn’t feel right. Something’s wrong!” Oh, something was wrong all right (and I can see GMR’s face as he reads this at home in our cove – as he does when he reads other things he can’t believe I am writing about)—I’d forgotten to pull down my wittle undies. Yup folks. That is exhaustion—when you don’t even remember to pull down your wittle pannies and sit there teetling into them. Okay, now I am laughing, for I find this hilarious—and probably that’s the exhaustion, too—

–for folks, when you are exhausted and stressed, the stupidest things are hilarious, and the littlest moments are tenderest, and the smallest upsets are mountainous, and the tiniest nice thoughts/actions are exceedingly momentous.

Okay, my friends, some good news: Dad is scheduled to have the intubation tube removed today after he wakes and recovers from a little surgical procedure that isn’t related to the cause of his intubation but a result of it, so we are all excited. There were times I didn’t think my dad would make it, and I admit that even though I don’t like to admit it—but, we all never gave up hope, and that’s the thing, y’all, good old hope has wings.

I haven’t much had time/energy/mood to think about my books and book sales and etc, but Bellebooks/Bell-Bridge Books has been a dream about this, and has given me a month’s extension if I need it for VK III (the final Grace’s book). And, in some fun news, we have a reader for audio books for The Firefly Dance (and she’s wonderful!), and we have a reader for audio books for Sweetie—I picked her and loved her voice for Melissa. There is a reader for Tender Graces for audio books I really hope can do TG, for she is my Virginia Kate and I really really want her to do it. So soon there should be some audio books out, if you like audio books.

*Blowing A Kiss* to you all. When (I had written “if” – no no WHEN) Dad’s off the ventilator and 24-hour watch goes by fine, then soon I will be wending my way back home and back to my regular schedule of Life and Writing and Posting and Visiting—thank you for your continued support and love and well-wishes and thoughts. *Big Ole Heart Here* MUWAH!

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