The Sheldon Cooper in Me

sheldon cooper & me -okay, not me *laughing*

Sometimes when I’m watching The Big Bang Theory, I have thissemi-uncomfortable feeling that I am oft-times too much like Sheldon Cooper. That Iunderstand too much of what he says and does and it makes perfect sense to me,so that while I, and the studio audience, are laughing, I am also going,”Um . . . wait . . . we are laughing because this is a bit of theridiculous . . . and so I am a bit of the ridiculous.” Teehee.

I know I have tics and weirdness and “ways I must do things.” Iknow when I go into a hotel room, I first put down my luggage on a woodensurface and not on the floor in the case there are critters there hiding justso they can crawl into my luggage and snuggle in for the trip home. And then I immediatelywalk to the bed, lift the covers, and check out the sheets and the mattress. IfI am in a Hampton Inn, which is where I try to stay because they sanitize their comforters and they are white–which shows everything!–I mostly feel I don’t haveto remove the bedspread, but if I have to stay where there is one of thosecolorful bedspread, off it comes! Colorful bedspreads are made that way to hidestains and other icky nasty. The sheets best be white without any stains—stainswill send me into apoplectic fits of EWWWWWWW. The mattress check is for signsof critters. And, to make things more weirdly embarrassing: during the middleof the night, at around 2 a.m., since that’s when an article said certaincritters come out, I have to shine a light under the covers to make sure nocritters have sneaked up on me and are feasting on my wittle legs. Well, sofar, so good, I’ve not had to go screeching into the hotel hallway as if myhair’s on fire.

My place is at the left end of the couch. When company comes, I hurry to siton that end, because it is My End; however, if someone beats me to it,unknowing that this is My End, then I will toss and turn upon the other end ofthe couch; I am displaced! I am uncomfortable –ungh! Ungh! I would never sayanything to the displacer but as soon as they go home, I pounce upon My End ofthe couch and nestle it back to its former Me-ness. I have a few moments of, “Itfeels weird because someone else has been here,” which I must quickly overcomeso I can enjoy My End again. Huhn.

I have rules about food. I’m not much of a meat eater, but when there isMeat Food prepared, it must be eaten within a certain amount of time. Usuallyabout two days, preferably one. Yes, this is so. GMR will eat meat ormeat-dishes a million days after it has been prepared, but not so I! I imagineit is spoiling almost immediately, growing nasty crawling critters, and souring,and I just will not eat it. Meatless food items may stay a little longer in my “Iwill eat this” category, but there are more Food Rules—I will not get into thisright now, but they all make sense to me. erk.

When I shake a stranger’s hand, my hand tingles afterward. Because I beginto think, “I wonder where that hand’s been?” And the thought grows and growsuntil my hand tingles and I am just so AWARE of my hand! Sometimes this happenseven if it is not a stranger and for this I can only ask for forgiveness. Noone will ever know, because it is only me who can feel the critters crawlingall over my hand. Ungh. Ungh. Sometimes this may be my “People Radar” going off—theradar that tells me something ain’t right about a person and I am taken abackby the force of those feelings, and sometimes it’s because I am just Weird.

Sometimes when I’m walking, I will step on a root or bump or somethingelevated in my path. Say I step on it with my right foot. Well, then the leftfoot begins to feel cheated. It wants to step on something elevated. I try toignore it, but eventually, I give in and make sure I step on something elevatedwith the left foot. Sometimes, just to be mean to my left foot, I will step onsomething elevated numerous times with my right foot and say, “HA! THERE! Tryto control ME will you! hahaha!”

Shall I go on? Well, I shall not because I’m of the belief that you mustleak out your crazy a teeny bit at a time. Let people become used to it. Lullthem into a sense of how they think you are quirky and slightly sweet andloveable, and then they accept all the crazy-arse stuff you throw at themwithout blinking an incredulous eye hardly one bit, hardly.

 What about you? Have any quirks you want to share?

PS – As an aside – whenever I find out there is going to be a “Special Promotion” for my books, I always want to let y’all know they are coming. From around December 17th until 23rd, The Firefly Dance and Sweetie will be on a special Amazon Kindle promo. I believe they are pricing them for $1.99 for just that time. A head’s up – in case you are interested. You all know I get all irkity talking about my books because I want this to be a “car salesman free zone” :-D haw! But, dang, this is a deal! Later y’all.

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