Aging your ass off ain’t so bad …. I’m’a gonna replace “Anti” Aging with “Pro” Aging…

18 Mar

an·ti/ˈanˌtī/  / Opposed to; against. A person opposed to a particular policy, activity, or idea.

Ad on Facebook sidebar: “Woman is 53 But Looks 27!” Uh huh.

Advertisers suggest how we must go out and conquer the Age Beasties because we are worth it! We are beautiful—but only after we use their products! We can live forever looking as if we haven’t lived at all!

Well, in some ways they have a point. And in some ways they are full of shit.

We all are going to age until we die. You can practice every bit of “anti-aging” in your arsenal but you still are going to age your ass off—if you are lucky. Some people aren’t lucky enough to age their ass off. Some people wish they could age their ass off. Some people’s family wishes their loved one could have aged their ass off.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to look good at any age, or for your age—the problem is when you continually and detrimentally grieve for your twenties and thirties or whatever your magic number is where you thought you looked and felt your best, or felt you were at the top of your game and now you feel you are at the bottom of the barrel.

Some scientists want to classify aging as a disease—one that can be treated, slowed down, and send people into their older years healthier and more vibrant. That we shouldn’t just accept aging as something that continues to devastatingly take away our minds, bodies, and attitudes. When it comes to aging and how our minds, brains, and bodies feel and look, genetics play some part but our lifestyles play a bigger part. Scientists are studying how some people they call Super Agers stay so much more healthier and active until they are 100 or more. Super Agers aside (and maybe I’ll be one!), we are living longer due to medicine, yes, but also due to piles and piles of ready information to educate us on how to live a healthier life.

If you are feeling decrepit already then do something about it. Consider how you can Kick Ass and be AWESOME where you are in your life Right Now. And you can do it without surgery and injections. Now, if you want to have surgery and injections, then you go for it! First, google “plastic surgery gone wrong” and after that, then, um, you go for it!

Tips to Pro-Aging: Continue reading


Dipping my toe(foot? Leg?) back in to the writing/reading community – :D

10 Mar

Hi Y’all ….

Esparta Palma -I see dead dolls … Hanging like normal dolls- Creative Commons

Today, I’m at Writer Unboxed with a post entitled “The Island of Misfit Characters.” Hope you’ll join us there! And while you are there, have a look around at the other posts from WU contributors. I’m proud to be a part of WU.

I almost ignored the request from AMA because I walked away from most everything related to my writing life for several years. But, I am glad I did not ignore it because it is time to further dip my toes back into the writing/reading community.

I’m trying out something new: AMA-Ask Me Anything. From what I see so far that place is chock-full of gooey good stuff. I’m taking questions on my #AMA now but it doesn’t go live until next Wednesday the 14th at 2:00 pm. My AMA is: Being an editor helps me to be a more effective, efficient (re)writer. Ask Me Anything about making your (re)writing life much easier! Join me there. You can ask a question at any time, but answers won’t show until it’s live on Wednesday. While at AMA, have a look around at the other “channels” there to find something that piques your interest. Or, perhaps you may want to create an AMA of your own. I’m going to try it out and see how it goes.

All right. I’m off to ready my lil log house for winter stomping back in (maybe it’ll change its mind! Lawd!).  Later, y’all ….




*Blinks in the Bright Sunshine* I’m corralling my chaos (kinda sorta) ….

5 Mar

I’d promised myself this year I would work towards corralling (some of) the chaos in my life. That begins with becoming more organized even—gasp—creating lists, and—bigger gasp—actually looking at those lists instead of forgetting them—and HUGE gasp—actually doing things on the lists and then scratching them off. Yeah. WHUPOW, y’all!

That includes updating my blog, and as well updating my website. Blogwise, I went through theme after theme and this one just kept shining out at me. It made me happy. It made me feel energetic. It feels like MOVEMENT and JOY and POWER and INTELLIGENCE. And that’s where I want to focus my life: MOVEMENT & JOY & POWER & INTELLIGENCE, and all the innards and outards of life and science and writing and editing and relationships and family and friends and health and food. The white background bothered me at first, but it works for me too, for that blank page means: what’s next in the story?

Of course, not having a Strict Theme to my blog is just more of my chaos, right? Maybe.  But better to dump it all here than my brain expand and explode, right? RIGHT! WHEE HAW! Or, explode my friends’ and family’s brains with  my BOINGITY BOINGITY.

I will also gladly tell you that I’ve started a new novel. More on that later.

My editing business has been doing quite well despite my not “advertising” it thusly and so’ly and ecterly. Word of mouth and repeat clients is an awesome thing: thank you.

My published novels: welp, more on that later too.

More on EVERYTHING later. Cause that’s how I want my blog to be. Whatever I want it to be. And let the readers come, or let them not. This will be a place I can express whatever I am in the mood to express.

And you are welcomed to the madness, if you so dare to be.

I will post at least once a month, and I hope to post twice a month. That’s a promise I’m making to myself: Promise Made.


When the blog title no longer works :D

2 Dec

First off, though I don’t like talking-up my books, when there is a sale on one of them, I always do pass that along. Until December 15th, Family Graces, the 3rd in the Virginia Kate Saga Trilogy, is on ebook sale for a tiny little bitty .99cents. I appreciate all your support and love and help and all you do—I adore my Readers! And I know the pic below is huge, but that’s how it came out when I put in the link: lawd!

Now, for the business part, if you will. I couldn’t figure out why I was not writing on my blog, since I wanted to, love science and space, and the research I’d do to find tidbits here for you all.

It struck me finally that the title no longer works. Because, well, I just don’t feel lonely at this time in my life. So, I’m going to ponder this—give it some thought—and think of a new way to approach my blog, and a tweak of the title. Though, I still want to write about science and space and all those wonderful things that capture my imagination and attention.

I do recognize my sometimes flighty-chaotic-discombobulated nature—haw!—when it comes to my blog (uh, just to my blog? Um . . . . Dang!) probably has about three loyal readers hanging on. laugh! But I write on, when I can. Right? Right! Write!

I am still a monthly contributor at Writer Unboxed—if y’all aren’t reading WU, head thee over there!

Now, on to my pondering and I will figure out a new title for this here blawg.





Life Finds a Way, at Writer Unboxed, and Garage Door ‘Fix’

11 Sep

Ah, I’ve missed this blog, and I have promised myself I will be posting to it more regularly. It makes me feel a bit less lonely, knowing that somewhere, someone is reading or may pass by. Long ago, I had an active blog and active community. Long ago, I was active in many writing circles and writing and social media. Long ago, I had a blog that was well-visited. It was fun. Maybe blogs are on the wane, but I still like them. I still visit them, though I rarely comment. Perhaps I will start commenting more. Perhaps blogs will make a come-back and we will enjoy that community again, one much different from/than Facebook or Twitter, etc.

Loneliness is a strange beast. A part of me embraces it, after the chaos I’ve had in my life. But sometimes it swallows me and I am left wandering in some strange Other World of Silence. Loneliness can become a safe haven, too. Where you begin to be so used to it that anything else feels too loud, too much. When a man asks for my phone number or expresses an interest, I find myself backing away, then turning around and running for the safety of my little log house. Yet, I’m also ready to open that door wider when I feel a return spark of interest in someone. Oh, the angst of it all! Right?

2f95c122-b7f3-4ea9-8afb-ed71deb90477_zps0f985647But I digress. Even if my words are swallowed into a Big Black Hole, I find satisfaction in the writing, and the researching of Wonders of our Galaxy, and beyond. For today, I am directing you to the wonderful community of Writer Unboxed, where I am proud to be a monthly contributor. Saturday’s post fell in line with how and what I write here at the Lonely Woman’s Guide to Our Galaxy, so I’m linking you there. To be a part of any community, even an online one, makes my Galaxy here much less lonely. As well, I’m often on Facebook, and I invite any of you who aren’t already there to join me. I’m on Twitter and Instagram must less frequently, but I meander every so often.


Life Finds a Way . . . at Writer Unboxed.

These are snottites that you find in caves – or inside someone’s mouth if they can’t kiss – ewwww

A few billion years ago, microscopic “life forms” caused Earth to change from an uninhabitable nasty suffocating place to one more like we now know. As the movie Jurassic Park scientist character said, “Life, uh, finds a way….” So, here are these tiny forms of life Finding Their Way, and what they did was pave the way for all living things by transforming our Earth.

Sometimes I wonder, if I were transported back even a few thousand years, how would my breathing be? What would the earth smell like? How would my feet feel upon the ground, my eyes see color and texture? If a scientist took the inner workings, the soft tissue, of someone from that time and compared it to my soft tissue, what would the differences be? How have we evolved because of the changes in our atmosphere, and what we eat, how we move about or don’t move about, and how we live our everyday lives in response to happiness and having things and not having things, to the stresses and joys and overwhelming possibilities of just where are we headed and how life is lived now and our responses to each other as humans with varied thoughts and beliefs and the very nature of how we know everything that is going on everywhere twenty-four hours a day/night—how would we differ from the earliest “intelligent life?” To begin and end and begin and end and begin and end, round and round and round we go.

But I seemingly digress. Let’s see. Meteorites bombarded—carbon arrived. Bacteria partied and hooked up. Things began to change. For rest of post, visit Writer Unboxed, and while you are there, follow this wonderful writers’, readers’, and industry peoples’ blog.

“Repair” of the Day: Garage Door Opener.


Do you immediately call a service repair person any time something quits working? Or take your car to a mechanic any time something goes awry with your car? Maybe you don’t need to. Particularly if you, like I am, are on a tight budget. Sometimes the fix is simple and easy. Often, as long as you do it safely and carefully, just TRYING something will net you results. It’s very satisfying, and empowering.

My garage door opener stopped working, and though that’s not the worst thing to happen as I have a keypad to open it, I depend on that automatic opener at night and during bad weather, particularly very cold snowy weather or high-wind rainy weather, when I don’t want to exit my car. My first thought was that it was the battery, so I changed that. No such luck. Still didn’t work. I tried the spare opener: nope, nothing.

I then googled “garage door opener stopped working.” Now, y’all, I highly suggest this when you have a problem with something in your home, or car, or whatever: google, bing, IE search, whatever search provider you like. For sometimes you’ll find the answer to your problem and it may be something you can remedy on your own, saving you money. I’ve had other things I’ve repaired in my home and my car simply by doing a Google search of the problem, and I’ve posted them here. Maybe you’ll  end up a little greasy or dirty, but so what? Ain’t gonna hurt you!

I’ve had this same opener for 13 years and I may never know why it suddenly decided to malfunction, but the fix was super easy. I climbed up a ladder, took a look at the controls that are attached to the ceiling of the garage, and there were the simple instructions.  VOILA! I had my opener back. Super easy. Free.

You can do this.

1964980_10152466287074176_8369086502746553258_nIf you like Southern/Appalachian/Family Saga fiction (sometimes with a supernatural touch), then I hope you will consider one of my novels (or short story “snacks”) by clicking on this link to my 51j6n1OihJL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-v3-big,TopRight,0,-55_SX278_SY278_PIkin4,BottomRight,1,22_AA300_SH20_OU01_Amazon Page. I appreciate your support!

1461250_496657083765127_1387255473_nAnd I thank you, my readers.


Fruit Flies, and Monkeys, and Lonely Woman, oh my! Some Traveling Tips.

28 May

“This sucks, y’all.”

My recent trip to Texas, a 2000 mile round-trip, has me thinking about space travel. Researching the various this’s and that’s of it, I found the image to the left. That monkey looks as if he knows he ain’t coming back.

Just as a reference: Space officially begins at about 62 miles above our Earth’s surface, called the Karman Line.

The first living creatures to be launched into space were fruit flies—they were sent up with some corn so they’d not be hungry—way back in 1947, aboard a V2 rocket. They went 106 miles, and the capsule was actually recovered and the fruit flies weren’t any worse for wear.

A year later came the first monkey, named Albert. But, alas poor Albert; I knew him well (not). Um.  Ugh. Yeah. They think he may have suffocated before he even left the ground. Dang. The rocket only made it up 39 miles.

Albert II, who fortunate for him had NOOOO idea what happened to the preceding Albert, was sent up in a V2 rocket, soaring to 83 miles. Though Albert was the first monkey to be successfully launched into space without meeting his fate before leaving the ground, there was a problem with his parachute on the recovery capsule as it hurtled to earth and—well, you can guess the rest if you like. RIP Albert II. RIP.

After that, other Alberts (III, IV, V) boarded their rockets, and none survived—either they died on impact or during the flight.

Apparently, it is said that all of the monkeys were anesthetized for the flight. Hmmm.

The infamous Miss Baker. “I’m claustrophobic, y’all! ungh!ungh!”

But at last! Two monkeys in 1959—Able and Miss Baker—flew to 360 miles, tucked in aboard a Jupiter rocket. Their recovery capsule landed about 1700 miles off range of where they were supposed to land at Cape Canaveral, but they were found and recovered, and perhaps became celebrities, maybe as spokesmonkeys for various products and services.

My recent travel was not so dire and dangerous, though perhaps it is in its own way—traffic, crazy drivers, high winds, bad storms, exhaustion, a hotel from hell—lawd!

There is vulnerability (at least for this lonely woman) to traveling alone. So I have some general tidbits for you, should you also travel alone, or will one day do so.

1). If you are traveling with a pet, and will be stopping for the night, you would be better off checking out hotel pet policy ahead of time. Many chains do not allow pets. Some allow them but with restrictions, or a non-refundable fee (one hotel charges $100 nonrefundable fee!). Some chains do allow pets for free—like LaQuinta. LaQuinta hotels are a crapshoot, honestly. Some of them are seriously outdated. Do your research and it’ll save you from being road-weary and searching.

Read reviews. There are always the 1-star “I HAAAAAATED IT!” reviews and the 5-Star “I LOOOOOOOVED IT!” reviews, but I like reading those 3 and 4 star reviews.

Also, maybe I’m just paranoid and weird, but the first two things I do when I stay at a hotel, any hotel, no matter how much it costs or where it is, is to check the mattress for signs of bed bugs (UGH!)—I have never had a room with those, but I check it every time (pull up the sheets and look at the mattress, particularly along the seams, for cleanliness—you can google this if you dare). Then I take Clorox wipes and wipe down the remote, the light switches, the toilet, and a few other surfaces—what? Better safe than sorry! All hotels, no matter how nice or what the cost per night, get this treatment. It’s the only way I can relax. I will also admit that in the middle of the night, I shine my phone under the covers just to make sure nothing is there. Yeah. My head is a scary place.

I seeeee youuuuu!

Also, if you have “trouble” at any hotel, report it. I stayed at a hotel with a weird wonky door that I didn’t discover until the next morning that you could see a little bit into my room! EEEEK! I was NOT HAPPY! While the staff was amazing, and the hotel clean, that hotel needed serious updating and renovating. It was unacceptable. They refunded my money. I won’t be staying there again. Research, y’all! Ahead of time!

2). Welcome Centers are becoming better and better about cleanliness, safety, and, well, welcoming! I always stop at a Welcome Center when entering a new state. There’s places to walk about, and if you have a pet, they have designated areas for the pets. There’s usually coffee, and nice greeters (during business hours mostly). Vending machines if you are interested in that. And the bathroom facilities are usually clean and safe.

3). Rest areas are a mixed bag. Some of them do a great job of keeping the area and facilities clean and safe. But, I have a rule: if I pull up to a rest area and don’t feel safe, or have one of my “wonky” feelings, I’m out of there. Always best to listen to your gut. As with Welcome Centers, rest areas are much better than they used to be, but some are still a little “shady.”

4). Have water handy for you and for your pet. I used to limit my water intake so I’d not have to stop so often, but now I realize that part of the joy of the trip is stopping and stretching my legs, taking in some scenery. And keeping yourself hydrated and your body stretched out will keep you awake and aware and feeling better.

5). Don’t consume sugary snacks and drinks! Same goes for high “bad” carbohydrate foods, like a lot of fast foods. Eating sugary/high carb foods will make you feel sluggish and sleepy. Higher protein snacks/food is a better choice.

And, concerning No’s 4 & 5 – if you are traveling alone, you MUST be alert! There is no one to switch off so you can rest/nap, unless you pull over to nap, and I will never do this. So consider what you take with you and where you stop to eat as an important part of your travel. Continue reading

Alone is not a dirty word, y’all. Be a Rogue Planet – why not?

11 Mar

Where have I been? Why, I’ve been here, there, and yonder! I’ve been working on my new novel. I’ve been editing other writers’ books and novels. I’ve been working on Edge of Arlington website. I was asked to be a regular contributor to Writer Unboxed (poor thangs – they don’t know what they did – I’m hillbilly’ing up they’s space; I’m dirty-footing up they’s respectable blog. Dang!). It’s an honor to write for such a prestigious group and I am grateful. My latest is: Grocery Store Glory (& Angst), (and earlier: A Writer’s Tombstone, Giving Up & Giving In, and as an earlier guest: The Isolated Author).

As well, from November through January, Lil Bear and I traveled by plane to Oregon and stayed 6 whole weeks! Wow! And from there we flew to Arlington, Texas, where we visited a bit, before I rented a Nissan Rogue and drove back to my mountains. It was so danged good to be home but I’m glad I traveled through the holidays instead of . . . being *gasp* ALONE FOR THE HOLIDAYS! That’s not my emphasis, since it wouldn’t have bothered me to be alone for the holidays. I do have friends. I do get out. I’m not completely reclusive. *laugh*

It looked just like this! Snazzy!

How appropriate that I rented a Nissan Rogue—for that’s often how I feel. As if I am a Rogue Planet, spiraled out and beyond away from the Mother Star of its birth, away from other planets, away from the security of that comforting planetary orbit. Wandering through space and time—that word again: Alone.

From Phenomena A SCIENCE SALON: “Rogue planets are homeless worlds. They have neither sunrises nor sunsets, because unlike the planets we’re more familiar with, these lonely worlds aren’t tethered to a star. Instead, they travel in solitary arcs around the Milky Way’s core. Earlier this week, Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey, introduced many of its viewers to the concept of these lonely planets. ‘The galaxy has billions of them, adrift in perpetual night. They’re orphans, cast away from their mother stars during the chaotic birth of their native solar systems,’ Neil DeGrasse Tyson says, as a planet emerges from the darkness. ‘Rogue planets are molten at the core, but frozen at the surface. There may be oceans of liquid water in the zone between those extremes. Who knows what might be swimming there?’”

photo credit: NASA-JPL-caltech-R.Hurt

How bleak and sad that sounds. Yet, yes, who knows what might be swimming in there? And until there is someone who wants to find out what is swimming inside of me, who sees my inner self and not just “this body” and who is not afraid of the challenge of someone who is “like me” (for I will never be boring), who can see that I am molten at my core but may sometimes seem to be frozen at the surface, who is kind and trustworthy, a grownup and not a little boy, but please believe me when I say: not perfect for I don’t trust perfection (in looks or manner/personality)—then I prefer to be Alone. Not only prefer it, but desire it, want it, embrace it. It suits me. For even if I find that person or that person finds me, I am not so sure I want to give up my freedom. Perhaps they will feel the same way: yay!

Scientists have discovered many of these rogue planets—some as big as Jupiter. Wandering through space, seemingly lost and without anchor. But who is to say those planets aren’t happy drifting languidly through space? Going where they want when they want. Doing what they want when they want. Continue reading

Super-Duper Moon Is Coming! Door Removal & Snaking Your Drain til it Guggles

6 Nov

No, “Snaking Your Drain til it Guggles ” is not a euphemism  for something naughty (not today anyway – ha!)

I’m so excited! If I were in a relationship or dating someone, or someones, I’d be thinking about how Moon-shine over Maggie Valleyto spin this event in to some kind of “romantic” sexy date (even though I am not much of a romantic, I am, however, all about the sexy, y’all – haw!). Big ole Moons are made for lovers, right? Oh well, I’ll love myself—see snaking your drain: just kidding! (hahaha).

On November 14,  Earth will see its first Super-Duper Moon since January 1948—I wasn’t born yet so this Super-Duper Moon will be my first. Because it will be closer, our moon will look to be about 14% bigger and about 30% brighter. Moon won’t be that close to Earth again until November of 2034.

Moon orbits elliptically, and on its perigee side it’ll be approximately 30,000 miles closer to earth supermoon-micromoonthan the other side (the apogee—mini moon!). When the Earth, Moon, and Sun line up (called a syzygy—all consonants, y’all!—unless you consider the “sometimes y” thing, and who doesn’t?) with the perigee side of Moon facing Earth, the moon will be on the opposite side of the earth than it is from the sun—that’s called a perigee-syzygy. In case you were wondering and all—these things may have been keeping you up at night, tossing and turning and wondering about syzygys and perigees and apogees and the like.

All this together on November 14 will make our moon look to be bigger and brighter: SuperMoon! (Though scientists, bless them, call it a perigee moon.)

I took this photo through my telescope

We’ve recently had some SuperMoons—one in mid-October, and we’ll have another one mid-December. But this one on November 14 will appear bigger than any SuperMoon we’ve had in 70 years. If you don’t like how full moons affect you, then you must prepare yourself. However, if like me you love them and run amok through the woods howling your ass off, then like me you will love it!


Lick Observatory atop Mt. Hamilton near San Jose, Calif. in March 2012. Rick Baldridge – from Sky & Telescope (

Of course where you live and how you are able to view the moon will make a difference. You need a point of reference with which to compare it. Some trees or a building, etc. If it’s way up in the sky with nothing to compare it with, then Moon may not seem as Super to you. If you see it at just the right place, like close to the horizon, you can see a “moon illusion” where it looks really uncommonly large in relation to the object or objects in “front” of it.

I’m hoping our clear skies we’ve had here in Western North Carolina Smoky Mountains remain clear so I can see this—and through my telescope, too! Squeeeeee!

Now, just a few little hints for you here today. If we don’t learn to repair some things on our own, and are afraid to try, then money we do not have or have little to spare on our one income will fly out the window and up to the SuperMoon. I’ve shown you some easy fixes—and maybe not as easy fixes, but not extremely difficult either—here on Lonely Woman’s blog, but today’s “repairs” are super duper easy.

If you have a slow drain in your bathroom sink or tub, before you go pouring something caustic and nasty down it, or before you call a plumber, there is something so very easy to try, you’ll wonder why you didn’t know about this before!

img_5350First, you want to remove the drain “guard” thing—it’s the thing with holes in it and a screw in the middle (you may have something different). Just remove the screw with the proper screwdriver (see below), then lift out the drain “guard” (you may have to pry it with something to pop it out).


These very inexpensive little “drain snakes” with tiny brushes on the end really do work for most slow or clogged drains. I’ve been using them for years and have not needed nor purchased any caustic drain uncloggers for years, nor have I had to call a plumber—works every time. viewimageYou simply push the brush end into the drain, and shove it down in there. When you pull it back up, you may find a mass of something outstandingly gross, especially if you haven’t done it in a while, or ever, and especially if you have long hair, or lots of hair—lawd! But once you do this a few times, the drain will clear, and is there not a more happy go lucky relieved sound than the glug glug glug of water happily circling down the drain where previously it was sluggish and slow and annoying? I think not!

My next “repair” is not really a repair at all (unless you have a broken door), but if you wish to remove a door and never have considered just how easy it is. I’m all about making my lil log house img_3999“my own” since I do not have to share, and I’ll have another post on Making Your Space Your Own Where Previously You Had To Share, soon—maybe next time. Removing a door is so super easy. Go look at a door in your house or apartment (you can refer to the images as well). Look at the hinges on the door—there are three of them on a standard sized door. You see how that works? There is a long “nail” that fits inside the “loops” in those hinges, and that’s what makes the door swing open and closed.

All you do is find a hammer and a small Phillips head screwdriver—and if you don’t know what that img_4005is, the Phillips head is the one that looks as if it comes to a “point” and has  two slots at right angles to each other, while the other screwdriver looks flat at the end and has one slot (there are other kinds of screwdrivers, but the Phillips and the slotted are the two general main ones most of you have in your household). I’ll soon have a Black & Decker cordless screwdriver! Another squeeeeee. My hammer is an old Stanley, and it’s small; just right for my small hands.

You’ll see the “nail” that’s inserted in the “loops” of the door hinge has a head and then an end, img_4007img_4001much like a big fat nail without a point. Place the head of the screwdriver on the bottom flat end of the “nail” and hammer the handle of the screwdriver to start pushing up the nail through the “loops.” If you have other tool implements that will work better, go ahead! This is just how I do it. Once you work that nail out enough, you can pull it free. Do this to the other two hinges. Then all you do is grab the door and it’s free of its restraints. VOILA!

I did this to a closet door in my bedroom. In the winter the closet was freezing, and in the summer the closet needed air. As a “temporary” fix, I bought an inexpensive bead and string thang that I shoved a tree limb through and then hung over the door. I’ve liked it enough to keep it there until I figure out what more I want to do in that doorway and in the closet area. Since you can see through the closet-door-2bead/string thang a little, I put a furry rug on the floor, placed some decorative “bins”  and other interesting containers on the shelves. More of that on “making our spaces,” but  I’m pretty proud of myself!

Have fun. Fiddle around. Pull out your toolbox and see what you have. If you change something and don’t like it, change it back or do something else. If you attempt to repair something and ruin it, well, don’t come looking for me! laughing!

That’s all for today. In case you need a refresher on simple car repair, and small household “repairs,” I’ll link a few below (or put up the video again).

Now, I’ll just wait with excited breath for that SuperMoon! Squeeeeee!

Click for post: What to do if your ceiling fan is making noise & Garbage Disposal not working?

Tools: allen wrench, crescent wrench:

Repairing a headlight & a windshield wiper (Blog Link Here for more):

How to check your oil:

1964980_10152466287074176_8369086502746553258_nIf you like Southern/Appalachian/Family Saga fiction (sometimes with a supernatural touch), then I hope you will consider one of my novels (or short story “snacks”) by clicking on this link to my 51j6n1OihJL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-v3-big,TopRight,0,-55_SX278_SY278_PIkin4,BottomRight,1,22_AA300_SH20_OU01_Amazon Page. I appreciate your support!

1461250_496657083765127_1387255473_nAnd I thank you, my readers.


The Sun shines on, until it goes kablooey; Clear your own debris & find your joy before you even think about dating again

31 Oct

solar-system-tourOur Sun. The planets revolve around it, though once long long ago people believed that everything revolved around the Earth—just like some people think everything revolves around them, right? Ha!

Did you know that the sun is all colors mixed together, but appears as white or yellow or maybe even gold to us? Sun’s power (386 billion megawatts) is created by nuclear fusion reactions—much like the Rage I experienced-hawhaw! (more on that later). Light from Sun takes about eight minutes to reach the earth—the amount of time many people wait between relationships; ha! Over one million Earths could fit inside the sun.

If you were 118 pounds on Earth, you’d be 3,194 pounds on the sun. Dang! On the sun you best back away from the Halloween Candy, y’all—in fact, send your Halloween Candy (the good kind; I don’t want that nasty kind) to Kathryn Magendie, The Cove at Killian Knob, Western North Carolina. Boo! I can’t calculate your age on the sun because age is figured out by our rotation around the sun, so it makes no sense to try to calculate our age on the sun.

Sun is about 4.5 billion years old and it now has about half of its hydrogen, at its core, left to “burn.” explodingsunuploadSo, it’ll shine on for about another 5 billion years and we’ll take it for granted. Until! One day, it will run dry of hydrogen fuel and this is bad news for us humans, because then Sun will devour Earth—complete destruction—hmm, this also applies to some people in our lives, doesn’t it? They completely consume us and create utter destruction! OH FIERY DEPTHS OF HELLACIOUS CHAOS! AIIIYEEEEEE!

At Sun’s destructive death, it may create a planetary nebula—nebula is debris/gas thrown out by dying stars. May I use this as another comparison or analogy? When a relationship dies, there is lots of emotional debris, and if we are not careful, and we start dating too soon, or worse, enter into a relationship too soon, we still have all that debris and destruction and exploding gases happening all around us—and for all you know, maybe your dating partner is going through the same thing. Double Whammy! How can we clearly see with all that debris clouding our vision?

Before you start dating or looking for a relationship, I cannot stress enough—really really stress Back to the cove at Killian Knobenough—how important it is to have some time alone. ALONE—by yourself—YOU BEING YOU ONLY! Not just to “lick your wounds” but to figure out things. To look at yourself in the mirror. To do some uncomfortable thinking.

To clear the air of all that debris and gas. To see things realistically. To feel healthy and strong. The longer you go, the more your life journey begins to make sense in ways you never imagined. As the dust settles, you see the galaxy around you clearly. Because if you’ve gone from relationship-to-relationship, you may have a Big Ass Debris-Covered Galaxy—your debris mixed with their debris until you don’t know who you are separate from Someone Else any longer—your life is a bit of a mess.

It’s been a year since my last relationship nebulized all over the place, and that relationship came round much too fast after I left my marriage—debris on top of debris. But boy was it exciting and exhilarating and passionate and interesting and satisfying in ways I never imagined in all my imagining. But it was also other things; it was also what it wasn’t, all of which is of course private.

If I’d have known then I’d go a images (4)year alone (so far!), I’d have thought, “Well, Dang! A YEAR! DANG!” There’s lots of This Is Not Fun when you are alone. You miss things. Emotional things. Physical things. But what I found as time went on and I became stronger and saw just what I was made up of, is how I began to recognize patterns that both related to others and also only related to Me. I began to see things I’d done that created chaos in my life. I began to see things I’d allowed in my life that I should not have. I saw things about myself that made me cringe, and made me feel sorrow. I learned a lot about Me.

630320In my year-long journey, I discovered many Epiphanies that made me gasp and go “OMG! Now I get it!”

The person I am emerged, warts and all. We are all imperfectly beautiful. Once you clear the air and see WHO you are all by yourself, you begin to learn to accept yourself. It’s a “oh, there I am!” moment.

I recognize I am a very intense and passionate woman. Now I see how for years I tried to control that. Worse, I often allowed others to try to control my passionate intensity—maybe they were afraid of it; maybe I was afraid to show it with them; maybe this that the other.

Even from childhood, I realized, I’ve squashed down, or let someone squash down, the Core of Who I 007am. Passionate. Intense. Creative. Weird. A whirlwind of a woman. But oh I am worth it. I know my worth. You have to know yours. If you do not recognize your worth, you and your partner or potential partner are doomed.

If you take a wild mountain storm and throw it in a box and nail it shut, that box will shake, rattle. The storm will barely be contained, pushing out through cracks and crevices. From the outside, you see this box shaking and rattling and you are a bit afraid of it. Maybe out of that fear you throw the box in a closet. One day that box will explode. Debris.

Two emotions I had problems with: Crying and Rage. You do not cry (and I rarely did); you do not show your anger—when I’d become mad, I’d become like a stone, still and rigid. Oh that rattling box!

And what of Joy? Where is the Joy? I’d laugh, but Joy seemed something situational. Something imagesthat happened when something good came around—fleeting before the next shitstorm arrived. Better feel it while you can before you have to deal with Real Life. Wow. That’s sad.

During my year-long Discovery Journey, my box began to RATTLE, SHAKE, EXPAND. The doors to the closet I’d been thrown in blew open. The locks on the box buckled under the pressure. And then that box EXPLODED and Hooooo Boy was there a shit-load of debris!

First came the crying. Oh did I cry at every little thing! I hated it! Can you imagine a well of tears from childhood that have finally been tapped? That well had to be drained, and it was deep and wide. I allowed it to come. It was annoying at first, then it became a cleansing.

The Rage was harder to deal with. A terrible terrible rage. I was one pissed off woman and it created imagesa bit of an Asshole Effect. Rage I’d tamped down from childhood and on through the years, just as with the crying, gushed up like some ancient volcano that finally erupts after a hundred years of boiling. Lava spilled and burned anyone who dared come close.

Imagine Godzilla stomping across the city scorching with its breath everything in its path, stopping every so often to sob and rail and whine? Yeah. It’s not pretty.

godzilla-breathMy dears! Can you imagine dating in a healthy way during this time? Good gawd no! Even if your emotions aren’t from years and years of repression, I can guaran-damn-tee you that you have a crap-load of debris from your last relationship, or relationships, you need to deal with. You’ll carry what you haven’t dealt with from person to person. I don’t care who you are with—they can be the most “perfect” person but if you haven’t cleaned up your own debris, it’s going to be messy.

Heck, you may end up screwing up a good thing. Or, you may end up being with a bad thing. Either one sucks.

You can’t blame the other person, exclusively. I don’t care how “bad” they may have been, you had your part and you best be figuring out what it was and dealing with it, even if it was just putting up with someone’s bullshit—you were there, you put up with it; why?

DSC02718Almost a year into my journey, I noticed that I was laughing a lot. Like, A Lot a lot. What was this feeling? What is this, Kathryn?

Well, damn it all! I’d found my Joy! It wasn’t until the debris cleared that Joy shone through, big and bright and beautiful. Warming my face and bones and skin and heart.

3fd128c3-39b6-45af-bd84-e1f22f6d587cThere comes a lightness of being, if you will. A knowing that you have gone through this weird-ass tunnel and come out the other side. Like a death and rebirth kind of thang, y’all!

And, in that lightness also comes Determination. You have heard it ALL before and you ain’t putting up with Da’Bull’Sheet. You don’t want to hear a litany of “I’m sorry” and then the same thing happens again and again while you make excuses for them, and excuses for why you put up with it. Or maybe they are putting up with your sorry ass? I ain’t there; I don’t know.

You don’t want someone else’s debris choking the life out of you.

Once Joy comes into DSC00024your life (and its sister, Peace—don’t forget Peace), you will never want to go back to The Old Way. And one of the ways not to go back to The Old Way is not to allow people into your life who will hurt you, or make you feel Less Than, or try to change you to fit who they want you to be, or—and this goes without saying but I’ll write it anyway—abuse you in ANY way. You will see your way more clearly. You will stop making excuses for someone else’s behavior, and, for your own behavior. You will trust your instincts. You will see the red flags and walk away. You will be strong enough to do this, yes, but mostly you will want NOTHING to take away Joy.

How do you know you are experiencing Joy (and Peace) and that the debris has cleared? You know it. You know it because it is the most pure of all the emotions. There are no conditions to it. There is no: “If only this would happen, then I’d be happy!” “If only he/she would do (or not do) this/that, then I would be happy.” “If only If only If only”—with Pure Joy, the clearing away of debris, there are no If Only This, Then I will be happy. There is contentment, laughter, strength.

This is not Pollyanna stuff. I am not talking about Manic or Giddy–I’m talking about Peace and Joy. Bad things are still going to happen. Sad will happen. Shit will happen. But you will get through it and Joy will be there waiting.

Your joy will follow you around whether you are with someone or whether you are alone. I can’t stress that enough either: You must find your Joy (and your Peace) all by yourself, completely alone, before you combine your joy and peace with someone else. Because if DSC00035that someone else has a debris-covered heart, it will cloud your vision. At best, you’ll be in their shitstorm and have to figure out if it’s worth it—and maybe it will be and maybe it will not be. Or, at worse, they are bad news, and they will drag you down to the hell-pits with them, and there goes your clear beautiful Galaxy of Joy.

So, folks. Please. Stop. Take a breath. Consider that taking time—and I cannot tell you how long it will be for you—will not always be easy, but it is Worth It. So very much worth it.

And then, when you do start dating again, you’ll only “choose” those who will make your Joy shine, Photos, no words: A walk in my Cove on Fourth of Julyand you will make their Joy shine. You will laugh. A lot. You will feel trust. Peace. Even in the hard times, you will know that Pure Joy is there, unclouded by destruction debris.

But first: be with yourself a while. Get to know you. You are worth it.


1964980_10152466287074176_8369086502746553258_nIf you like Southern/Appalachian/Family Saga fiction (sometimes with a supernatural touch), then I hope you will consider one of my novels (or short story “snacks”) by clicking on this link to my 51j6n1OihJL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-v3-big,TopRight,0,-55_SX278_SY278_PIkin4,BottomRight,1,22_AA300_SH20_OU01_Amazon Page. I appreciate your support!

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Quasars: A possible look into our Pasts . . . . The Deal Breaker(s) in Relationships-got yours?

9 Sep

black-hole-quasar-water-cloudQuasar is short for “quasi-stellar radio source.” They emit radio waves, as well as ultraviolet rays, infrared waves, x-rays, gamma rays. A quasar can be larger than our solar system. Dang! Quasars, the most distant objects, have enormous energy and are a trillion times brighter than our sun. Their energy comes from massive black holes at the center of the galaxy the quasar resides in. They’re bright enough to drown out the light of other stars. We can’t see them with our “naked” eye, even as bright as they are, because they are so far away—the energy from a quasar can take billions of years to reach our atmosphere. This could give scientists a peek into the early universe. A quasar may be like looking into the ancient past.

Think of this: the farther you go into space, the farther back in time you go. If we jumped into the lil log spaceship and were to go deeper and deeper into space, we’d eventually reach the beginning of time. Wrap your head around that for a moment!

One day, billions of years from now, our Milky Way Galaxy will collide with Andromeda Galaxy, and black holes will form a supermassive black hole. That supermassive black hole, munching up matter, will probably birth a quasar.

The video is someone’s interpretation of what a quasar may look and sound like.

If we did go deep into space, farther back in time, what would we see of ourselves? Would we see past Self make the same mistakes over and over again? Would we see our Self thinking that we were not making the same mistakes when we really are but only in a different context? We could take that intense Quasar light and shine it on our stumbles and foibles and use that to our advantage—to move forward in an aware way into healthy and happy lives, right? Right!

Many times people stumble into relationships willy nilly without giving a thought to what they really do want, or simply ignore and justify behaviors. They see warning signs and red flags but there’s that Hope that things “will just work out, somehow . . . .” And sometimes things do work out!

circling the drain . . . glub, glub, glub.

circling the drain . . . glub, glub, glub.

Sometimes the unlikeliest of couples are together for many many years and they make it work. Hoorah! I love those Exception couples.  But some find themselves in and out of partnerships as if in some kind of weird sad square dance: do si do swing your pahd’nuhs round and round! WHEEEEEEEEE! Ooops, fell on my ass, again. Oh well! Here comes another pahd’nuh! WHEEEEE-aw, shit—oh well, here comes another . . . .

I’ve “been there done that” on many things I may write about on this blog, so don’t think I’m feeling all smug in my lil log spaceship, y’all! I do know this: better to be lonely alone than to be lonely while in an unhappy relationship that isn’t right for you.

Perhaps it’s time to be more mindful of our choices? To consider that entering into a relationship isn’t some flippant event we should stumble willy nilly into—people can be hurt in so many different ways—but instead something we make with our consciousness on full alert.

Ha! *personal trainer evil eye!*

Ha! *personal trainer evil eye!*

There are those who make long detailed “lists” of what they want, or do not want, from a partner: some physical feature, money made or what one does for a living, what someone drives or where they live, kind of lifestyle lived, etc etc etc. Perhaps in dating and future relationships, being mindful of what you want while keeping your eyes and hearts open to adventure or someone “different” is less limiting than long detailed lists. That said, if you want children and your potential partner does not? That’s a Big Issue. If you are a yoga-pilates-daily runner vegan and your potential partner eats bacon cheeseburgers every day while lolling on the sofa. That’s a Big Issue. Those items may be up for discussion. Or, they may be non-negotiable.

Whether you make a list, or have never considered one, I am a firm believer in: The Deal Breaker.

Deal Breakers are what you absolutely positively cannot, and absolutely should not!, live with. There is no going back. If the Deal Breaker is broken, the relationship is over.

My savvy friends, think carefully about your Deal Breaker(s). Once your partner is aware of your adamant declaration and they Break The Deal, and you then say “Well, I’ll let it go this time! But do that again and you are out!” then you have not only lost your Self-respect, but you have lost the

Why did this bird cross the road? To get away from the Deal Breaker!

Why did this bird cross the road? To get away from the Deal Breaker!

respect of the person who is engaging in the Deal Breaker Behavior—I’ll take that further: if your partner respected you, they would not engage in the Deal Breaker Behavior in the first place. Because that Deal Breaker is Very Very Very Important to you—it is what makes you feel safe and respected and loved, and so it should be as valuable to your partner.

If the list mounts and grows, then those are not Deal Breakers—those are wishes and desires and what you think you want. Deal Breakers are separate from the “this is what I would like to have in a relationship.”

You can keep your Deal Breaker(s) to yourself while you are dating, but if you see a Red Flag, then beware. If you are heading into a relationship then perhaps at its beginning is the time to talk about your Deal Breakers—both of you.

Do you know your Deal Breaker(s)? I bet you do. I bet some of you have just ignored them, or justified the Deal Breaking Behavior. Haven’t you?

Deal Breakers are the Hard Ass Event. You have to be strong and you have to be brave. You have to walk away. You must. So use your Deal Breakers wisely, my friends. They are powerful. They are the End. They are our Milky Way Galaxy ramming into Andromeda Galaxy, and KABOOMO! we are Done.

Deanie Gallimore – you are the ‘winner’ of the drawing for the Kat’s Choice give-away! Facebook message me your mailing address.

Next drawing will be announced when I’m ready – ha! Who is driving this spaceship? Me~!

1964980_10152466287074176_8369086502746553258_nIf you like Southern/Appalachian/Family Saga fiction (sometimes with a supernatural touch), then I hope you will consider one of my novels (or short story “snacks”) by clicking on this link to my 51j6n1OihJL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-v3-big,TopRight,0,-55_SX278_SY278_PIkin4,BottomRight,1,22_AA300_SH20_OU01_Amazon Page. I appreciate your support!

1461250_496657083765127_1387255473_nAnd I thank you, my readers.



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